I have decided to follow Jesus.
I have decided to follow Jesus.
I have decided to follow Jesus.


No turning back. No turning back.

backs up but im down


stoning in the fish tank, a familliar tune played around my ears. my eyes saw the keys the fingers depressed and my heart sank with it.
it didnt register for a long time. what a beautiful tune i thought. and parts of it were so simillar to a song i couldnt remember.
the melody called upon the memories from the depths of my mind. and still i thought, what a beautiful tune it was.


came the time when all was revealed, the veil fell and all surged up.
it is that song. that melody. in that show. it was all about you.
why in such a beautiful day has saddness taken away my joy again.
why has the grief succeed in conquering the soft pink pastures again.



when the people thought it was all gone, that peace finally reigns..their enemies charge once more. not in great numbers anymore. but with small troops. seemingly harmless but harmful enough. for now they play a game of strategy that the people know not of against.

now my weight loss programme is thwarted!!
sleeping is a back breaking activity.. went to see a sinseh. and he laughed at me!!! then he was muttering.. "like old laddy liddat" in chinese..zz.
but thanks JOYCE DAJIE again. :D she brought me to the sinseh.
very pain ahh. he just heck and press very hard. turns out that though my left back muscles ached, my fourth/third bone from the bottome of my spine is outta place or something.



cant go for canoeing cant do anything. in fact i dont feel like going to sch. its so tiring. very painful.. only comfortable position most comfortable position is to lie on my front. which means i cant be doing anything. except perhaps read a book..



i cant learn dance for thailand OCIP and im banned from exercise till my back heals. roarr.

im turning fat and seriously my weight loss programme aint working.
cos i dont even watch tv these days.
now the programme is simplified - go for canoe trainings unless they clash with church stuff.. and do situps when i rmb too (hah) cos thats where my fats are as i can clearly see.



anw, today i ran the longest distance i ever ran 8.2km. at macritchie. but it wasnt quite so tiring. partly cos it was a comfortable pace - slow and staedy. can go to infinity distance kind of pace. but there's no doubt He provided me the strength i needed. depsite my cramps and discomfort.
guess what i saw my darling meishan and constance during training again. . how i miss them:D
stance bdae coming going to meet them!! YAYY




haish, i had this nightmare two nights before.
i wonder what it means. for one i think its rather scary..and real. it was in times that are dark.
and there was this evil looking person in it. and he confronted me and all i could do was run. but i am glad i called out to You then. =D
better not think too much??




the pain is seeping back again. i dont know. i m drying up. i need nourishment again. dont let my spirit be dry..
有些事我只想要对你说
因为你比任何人都爱我
http://www.donghaeng.net/

because You made the worst day in my life the best.
because You made the worst events turn out well miraculously.
because You showed me love when i was sinful.



here's all of myself.
You rock!

quite pissed.
you got the time whatt. will it hurt for a reminder. it seems just the two of you know whats going on anw. neither i nor him knows.

--------------------------------
promos: OCBC
did my best for all, well not so for bio but defenitely more than chem. had so many misreading of the qn, data booklet and mis calculations. arnd ten mks. that cost me my B

its been three dayys
i havent started on my weight loss programme
i've got rashes. for a week. and for the past few days i thought i was being bitten by bed bugs. how silly.
till ytd i saw red patches on my legs.
doc says i perspire too much
talk abt getting old..
you get fat, you get joint pains after doing just a hundred pumpings when i recall doing abt two hundred in my younger days. and i get rashes for perspiration.
how lame can things get??
and of all things, my ear is the most itchy. zz


im going to eat my medicine. i hope. but still do my exercises. missed trg today. if i went i wld have lost so much fats..boo.
pw is intensive, but i dont mind since i only have that to do..
think our presentation is quite fun:D

last night i saw a weighing machine
i stepped onto it
it was a mistake.



in the 6 months in HC i have gained more weight than i have since primary 5 - thats 7 years.
this is my weight loss programme.
i am waking up every morning to run 4k. i dont care.
i am going to resume my secondary crazy pumping routine of watching tv in pumpin position and doing push ups during commercial breaks.
i am doing a hundred sit ups everyday.


and i hope this schedule works. it will bring my weight down. problem is, will i do it.



on a lighter note, i have finished paecking my disgustingly dirty and messy room (ch came that day when it was half packed..but still very messy)
now its time to get my old things sold online and given to the salvation army. that'll be thursday??
meanwhile, i have got loads of books to read and loads of time at home
so basically my life for these two weeks will be school (or PW rather) then home to sell things. then run in the evening and finally sipping starbucks fruppacino and reading books. haha, sounds like an old woman esp when i have a rocking chair in my room..



life. with the Light.

wee~
after sch ytd was happening.
went to cine to eat sushi buffet with my sis and mum. was some weird ah-lian-ny shopp. with disgusting chinese pop songs in the background. but still enjoyed quite a bit. the suaku us never fried icecream before. so it was kinda hilarious while we were doing it. bloated after that.
went around, cut my hair at loreal. hah. quite ex. but then got a better haircut.and there's one problem. i dont know how to style my hair. yess. i've got wax. but i dont know how to use it.. hahaha.
short hair rocks. i can finally have it.

bought new converse shirt from herren. and coincidentally, another converse pull over at taka. and pretty hairbands. saw some really nice books at borders. im going there after sch everyday to read them mann. till i save the money to buy. yeahh, im cheapoo. =p
but i hadnt got much to do in the mean time anyway.


saw couple of old friends though.. like jia junn!! haha, feel so bad for not making to any of the contingent commanders outing so far. =( haish.
reached home reall latee. like past twelve midnight
and i still went to dajie's to play guitar. ahahah. fingers really hurt..but its fun:D

okay i admit im sleeping a little too much
afternoon nap today started in the morning lasted for eight hours and ended at night.
basically i slept my day away.
thats enough sleep.


as i know, sleep doesnt accumulate.
so if you sleep 24 hours it doesnt mean that your body needs no sleep for the next three days
and sleeping less than eight hours doesnt mean that sleeping the no. of hours you lacked will help.

but still, its enough. gotta stop sleeping. haha
been packing my room these days
separated into phases to last unitl the end of the week. hah.
i kindda rearranged my furniture. again. yes
i realised that i need to do this to destress and give me a refreshing feeling after every major examination.


and the rearrangement will keep my mind of somethings that are better left alone. =) since the previous arrangement was kindda special.
it make my room much more spacious now
got loads of rubbish that i dont bear to throw but aint very useful
like ROD presents from squads i never took. since i was assisnt coordi.
yah, and his things. leaving them alone first
i got this pile of stuff that i really dont know what to do with under my table now.. the rest area nicely packed in boxes. and i got at least fifty old CDs. wonder why i loved pop songs so much last time. some of them sounds rather bad now..



been so busy with promos and stuff that i didnt really much update. feel so detached from everybody now. hah. but closer to Him:D
baptism guess i only told gf pam mrs koh joanna ch out of the hc ppl.
anyhow. im a new creation and sis couldnt take the time to stay but joyce dajie cameee:D weee~~~~
thank you so much!!!!!!!!!



this is trg-less week. perhaps gona help ge ge jie paint her new house. and wed is eat sushi with mum day.. can go shopping too rahhhh. yayyy. thank God. i was thinking if got trg then cant go le but.. there isnt now!!
got my new prettty slippers from stancey last sat:D

wanna buy a new wallet..leather wallet. the one i have now is like how many years old and makes me look like a kid. anyway, its supposed to be guys wallet actually.
and i need clotheeesss. heh.

shopping shopping
packing my room.
living my slack days in Him. thats the only way it wont be wasted=D

promos are over!

these are things i wanna buy
new wallet
pretty new shoes
shirt? bottom? new clothes to wear.:D

Insecticide! im going kill the mozzies that bit me when i was studying electrolysis and photosynthesis.
new pretty markers.


im gonna sell my stuff i dont need on eBay. but first i need to get the account up and running. loads of time. no worries.


pack my room. notes are strewn all over the floor.







watched GOAL today.
was supposed to be a class thing then all wanted to watch corpse bride.
nyehh. not watching that gothic lame cartoon. ended up me and stef watch only. lol. but was really nice!!!
then we were slacking at lido. and even got lost -.-" standing outside theatre one and thinking. where is theatre one? so we walked one big round. and then we had the same problem abt getting out of the cinema too. lol.


and this guy came to promote his ordinary perfume. or natural spray he said. whatever.
and stef never saw such ppl and was quite surprised..haha. wanted to gl him like i used to, to every salesman that promotes stupid perfumes and with standard speeches..-.- but aye, didnt think of much to say accept telling him i dont know what takashimaya is.
then i was thinking. should have told him stef and i were les when he asked if we had boyfriends to give perfume to. haha. i wonder what his reaction wld be. anw. stef got a pic of him.haha.

aye, slackkk on everyone.

when i had no time, i wanted to study
now that i have all the time i need lethargy has come
go away please.


having this thought of just barely passing so that i can catch up next year.
i have this revision plan ahead during the december holidays telling myself i'd catch up then. what lies. it may never happen.

but i just dont feel like studying
and i feel that if i dont study i can surely just pass.
lies. i slogged so hard for bio in blocs and passed by half a mark!
i havent started bio at all yahh.


i cant even endure through chemistry promos 2003
Lord, i need your strength.
没有任何事物能够拦住我来亲近袮

im weary and tired.
all i want to do is rest.
i havent started bio revision at all.


its just a bit more just a little more. for You i'll do this. but promise me You'll bring me through

In the early 1990s, there was a teacher who was bringing one of his many students on a journey to a far away place - a mountain. Now this student was young and knew little of his teachings. Neither did the student understand where they were headed.


The student was michievious and playful, though she enjoyed the teacher's company, she hardly followed his teachings. On the journey, a group came over to pick a fight. The sutdent almost went for it but the teacher said "Dont Fight" in a loud booming but calm voice.


The teacher decided that the student should attend lessons, to know of his teachings, which are essential for the journey. However, the student never truly paid attention during lessons and did not like her fellow classmates. She found it a bore and One day, told the teacher, "I'm off, I dont want to listen to these anymore". She left along a path that branced from the path to the mountain. The teacher's heart ached terribly.


The path alone seemed good initially, to be 'free', she thought. Thickets along the path scratched her skin and scarred her. But she brushed it away. There were times she wept over the painful wounds but soon cast them aside and limped on. She did not remember her teacher, who had always cleared the path for her.


Loneliness crept to the student along the way but she put on a brace front. She stumbled many a times but braced herself to continiue, only to wander aimlessly. She had fights along the way with those who threatened her.


Then one day, she recalled the says she never needed to defend herself. She recalled the loud booming voice and thought back. 'Teacher!!' she thought, and earned to find him again. Only a short distance away, she found the teacher standing and waiting for her. He had always been with her! But she had kept hhim away, wanting her 'free' life.


The teacher led her back to their path and healed her of the scars and wound from thickets and fights.
By now, the student had grown older - 5 years older. And she could understand things better but her heart is less sensitive. Through teachings the teacher would change. Change the heart of this student of his to the one she had five years ago.


Their path ahead is not smooth. There will be valleys of death and dark tunnels to go through. There will be wilderness to endure through. But now, the student makes a decision. "Teacher, I'm going though this sea in front, to leave the world that I've known. There is no going back but it is a must to reach the mountian - Mount Zion"



The sea separated forming two great walls on either side. the student strides into dry sea bed, with the teacher holding her hand.