It's time to get serious.
I dont know.. I'm not that kid anymore, sometimes. Sometimes, I am.
I dont fancy games anymore..I dont enjoy crapping anymore.
I dont know what i want now.. I want something more, something good, better, greater.. I dont think that's asking too much from an awesome Creator.

I dont want to wile my time away anymore.
I dont want to speak futile words.
I dont want to succumb to the flesh.
I dont want to lose control and focus of my mind, and let it stray into dangerous grounds.
I dont want to do things I know I'm not supposed to do.

But I fail and still do.

But I still struggle on.

It's a battle everyday. I still fight on. I must fight on. I will fight on.

I may not be winning now, but I know I will.

For I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

I need to kill myself. I will kill myself. I will not let myself thwart great plans.

I said I was tired.. in the last entry. And that very night, You gave me a glimpse of the waters I've never been to. You said it. I want to be that faithful one who perserveres. I will.

For I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

I know, It's a battle everyday.
I will get killed one day.. I hope it's soon.

And therefore, I cannot rely on my strength.

I can, though, rely on You.

For I can do all things through Him who gives me strength