do i really have that compassionate a heart?

having been helping out with RDA for some time. and also taking care of ah chiu.
i won't say i have been doing a job.
i would say i probably would have not been doing my job satisfactorily.
not meeting certain requirements expected.

or is it what i expect of myself. but i doubt so.

people with disabilities. physical and intellectual..
how different are they from us, the normal people..

its easy to see how imperfect they are.
its easy to see how imperfect we are too.
but we just tend to forget or choose to decieve ourselves, in the name of self-encouragement.

or perhaps we don't even know or see it.

they cant do things others can. - - disability

but we cant do everything others can either. -- disability too!

we are disabled in one way or antoher. and i believe its God's Soveriegn choice to make it obvious (like the disabled) or innate (for us ' normal people')

so we are all the same. needing help and support in the way we are inequipped.
a CP person needs help to support his body.
a academically weak person needs help in his school work.
a CP person can train to control his bodily movements.
an academically weak person can do the same.

why then do i treat everyone differently.
why do i the disabled so differently, and special from others.

not that i shouldnt be nice to them.
i should understand their inabilities and help them out where they need assistance.
i can accept their shortcomings

how come i cant do that for 'normal people'
how come i cant understand the innate disabilites, understand and help 'normal people' as much as i feel to help the disabled.

i realised, i too am disabled.