in the midst of so much prelim preparation, i spent my day watching the teachers' day celebration and joining the PC show at EXPO today.. and then took a really long afternoon nap.

i forgotten all about it: THIS IS MY FIRST TEACHERS' DAY.

haha, its nice to have a student still remember you though you stopped teaching them. :)

oh, i bought a hard disk already:)

its been eons since i last blogged. oh wells, so prelims have started and youth group is to resume. and i fell asleep counting the number of words in my GP summary that i couldnt finsih AQ. smart.

extinction is a law of nature. its is a waste of time worry about endangeered species.
yup. thats the question i attempted for essay. oh wells, i hope the elephant seals and tuna in the mediteranean and the tiger and cheetah serve me well. thanks to national geographic my sister's most hated channel. and one of my favourites although i must say im getting bored of the lack of documentaries that have any link with the nature and animals or geography.
oh, angmoh documentaries on asia kindsa put me off. must they always play those chinese er hu guzheng musics when talking about singapore. oh please..thats CHINA. this is singapore. oh well, why am i complaining about it in the fist place. random.

let's see, i just finihsed my funny personal testimonial. thank God that I actually had enough stuff to write la. although i dont really have CCAs. if scuba diving and IMCB and OCIP counts, it seems like i am a very exciting person. on paper.
ahh, and its the first time i offically declared my secret ambition to the world. or at least to mrs koh. in my testimonial haha. maybe one day i really can finalise my dream. end up in africa treating the children and people there. see what kwarshirkorr is really like, how rickets actually form. beats treating athersclerosis in singapore or advising elderly to stop eating thier fatty char kway teow cos they are getting high cholesterol levesl in their blood. any average singapore would know these general knowledge by the time i graduate anyway.

i have no life. bleahh.
i have no life. seriously.

okay, lets no harp on it. but see how i can make my life exciting after As. haha
i have a extremly sinful self indulgent plan, which i dont think i would make it happen. but only parts of it probably.
here it is.
I would not work in the first month. i am going to pack up my room and shelf thigns up nicely and be neat (which is actually a stress-relieveer for me)
then i am going to sell all my random soft toys and stuff. aye, i dont know why people like to give me soft toys. okay, i know i look kiddy. but soft toys just aint for me. haha. too many of them take up too many space in my room.

after that i would buy a bicycle and cycle around the west area. i want to re-train my physique. i hope my back doesnt fail me. or i will go swimming more regularly anyway.
i want to cycle to WCP and back, go swimming, cycle probabaly to places like NUS.. maybe even try cycling to HC. i need to buy a street directory and devise ways to cycle around the island without the expressway. and i can get back that nice tan i used to have. hee:)
oh, i want to buy a cap and a pouch too. fix my bike with cool gears to bring along food and water and maybe a good book to read. along the way, where i can rest and read in some random corner in singapore, or simply snap the exotic unknown areas of the island.

that means i need a good camera. i am eyeing the new sony SLR alpha!! but thats way to expensive and useless for such a anyhow photographer-wanna-be like me. it has GPRS tracking system so all your pictures has co-ordinates for it!!! siow la. its really for the world photog kind.
ok, so get camera.

on some days, i'll probably also choose to immmerse myself in the urban landscape that is more familiar to singaporeans. but all at low costs, since im goign to buy so many other stuff too. lets see, go to borders and read there for the whole day.. go starbucks and sip coffee and look at people on the streets.

then again, some days i may be tired and just want to snap some pictures. i think coro and school area is quite nice actually.. maybe one day i will take a bus and walk along there to snap some pictures. see if any HCians can recognise them. arab street too is cool. can make a fake tioman album haha.
or i can explore new areas in singapore. that means i need a bus guide too! i'll do all these in december when i still have my student pass.. and that's if i can find a photog class to teach me photog 101 before december ends.

okay, the most important thing of december is christmas. i'll want to buy presents for everybody i know! but i dont want a big hole in my pocket like i used to have in RV. hah. but then, i wnat to go be santa claus. haha. go people's house on christmas eve and give presents. along with crazy friends though. hah.
oh yarh. CHRISTMAS SHOPPING WITH NING. :D

haha. then chrsitmas is over..and maybe we should have another youth outreach during christmas too! wah, i think i will be very busy but very happy hahahah. then end of the year would come really soon. meanwhile.. i should be spending my time storing and archiving christmas pictures and presents and stuff. haha. oh, maybe there will be PC xmas sales? haha. i want to buy a hard disk to supplement the few kbs left on my hard disk which my dear computer has never failed to remind me of either through irritating pop up balloons or by running reeeaaaallllly slowly.
ok, buy hard disk. then overngiht prayer meeting? haha. let's see what God has in store for the year ahead. i hope its Medicine. maybe He'll tell me to go mission trip too. more specifically this time.

lala, then its year 2007 and i am a 19 year old old woman! haha. i bet there will still be people asking me i sec what at that time. zz. i am supposed to go korea with mum. but she says that she's not very sure. either that or she gives me money to go NZ with friends. ANYONE WANTS TO GO NEW ZEALAND?? :D

by the time i should be planning on a Scuba diving trip to Redang. and psychoing / sourcing out friends to go. once the monsoon period ends we shall head for Redang!! i hope by back is fine by then!:D
oh, and i should have exhuasted my savings and need to start working. i will be teaching secondary science and math tuition i guess. i hope i earn loads of money. haha. lalala. i want to work at cafe cartel or something. :) i actually feel obliged to go back and help my uncle at his centre. but it pays really badly. maybe once a week. but if i go back they sure ask me for more. zz.

maybe i should go learn something else in the mean time too! i wnat to take A level Econs. i think it should be quite interesting. and i want to learn something werid like baking/cooking. my house has a working kitchen, microwave oven, toaster, coffee maker, convectional oven. but all we cook is instant noodles and canned food. zz. i think i should clean up the kitchen too. its been desolate and abandoned. super dirty.

by the time i earn enough money, its time for me to splurge on the last few things i need and revert back to my 'save for the rainy day' attitude. i want speakers for my iPod nano. oh, does anyone know if i can connect it to PC. cos my PC has no speakers.. then after that i can sell away this old 8 year old hi fi set. i should also get a guitar.. haha.. i think i am a very fussy pot when it comes to buying some things like clothes. and i think guitar is one of them. i havent seen a guitar yet as pleasing to my eye and of a resonable price. they all cost a bomb or look really awkward. not ugly. but i think it looks awkwardly round/ has weird shapes. hah.

when all that is done. i shall refuse to spend moeny crazily. adn revert to my present lifestyle of saving moeny and maybe splurge twice a month on expensive food and that's about it. or maybe my cooking lesson would have served me well and i can cook everyday, cheap and delicious food. :D wee~

4 months of fun should be enough. the other 3 months i shall be a serious worker and take my econs A levels in June.

oh well, back to reality. Bio Phy Math and Chem A levels are in December

这是关于大头龟的故事。

有一天大头龟在一张白纸上走着走着， 突然一个奇怪的物体出现在他的面前！
大头龟看了看，哦，这物体有张脸孔，应该是有生命的吧？
大头龟 好奇地问了那怪形物体：“你好，我叫大头龟。 你是谁阿？”

果然， 那物体动了一动，做了一些古玲精怪的动作后，说道："哦，我是单细胞动物。”

（大家想一想， 乌龟的眼睛怎么能够看到单细胞呢？ 这样乌龟照镜子的时候， 不时看到很多面孔对他笑吗？？ 这作者真荒唐！）

好回到故事里，
小乌龟又好奇，怎么无缘无故跳出了一个单细胞动物。 差点儿 就把他给吓晕了。
所以又问道：“单细胞动物阿，你是从哪里来的阿，怎么会出现在这张白纸上啊？”

单细胞有些瞧不起 小乌龟的愚拙似的， 不耐烦地回答：”我身上都是铅， 是从一支铅笔来的。 你身上都是红墨，是从一枝红笔来的。 红笔的主人 上课无聊所以把你放在这里，所以你就在这张白纸上无所事事地上下徘徊。 然后画我的那支铅笔的主人看到了 又无聊，所用铅笔把我也画在这了。 不过他不晓得你在走路，所以很粗心地把我画你面前。 （因为乌龟都很慢，画出来得乌龟也不例外。他们走路其实更慢，不留意还真的以为他们是原地不动的呢！）”

小乌龟顿时茅塞顿开， “哦， 我知道了”
霎时间， 一股力量把黑黑的一块板打在他们俩的脸上。

原来讲师已经讲完那一面，要同学们翻开另一页。

铅笔的主人：小颖
红笔的主人：本人
编剧：本人

此稿献给正预备考试的同学们。加油！

this is an entry to destress.. haha
oh man, its days to the end of As.
i feel so lag these days
mugging is like lowest efficiency..

i am so behind time.
i am supposed to have finished chem and physics revision and half way through math and bio revision by now. since i am away on a camp for the sept hols.

but i am not even done with chem and physics. havent started on the rest at all. arggghhh.

toodles.

one thing i dont want from you: luxurious items

only thing i get from you: luxurious items you want to give me

we all have our own thinking. do you know why i like to be with dad? cos we share about our different perspective and accept each other for who we are. regardless of age and generation. that's a true relationship, one that understands and accepts.

you know why i always contradict what you say about me in front of people?
because you always fight to answer questions for me, that you yourself know not the answer.
i know you think that is embarrassing. but sorry, the doctor/ whoever was actually asking me. and i know the right answer, which was important for the doctor to know.

you said i only started complaining these few days.
do you know that it has hurt for years?! not one year plus like i claim.
but it has been at least six years.. do you not know that this daughter of yours can't articulate her feelings well.
and when she says a statement, she really means it?
i said it before and i do remember it. i know you dont. if i told you the truth, that i have told you ages ago, would you believe me?

even meiyi and xiangge knows about it and cared for me way before you did.
and you say you care for me more than daddy?
daddy loves me, he doesnt give me money. he gives me his time and energy.

you say you give me moeny, more than daddy does.. but did you ever ask what i wanted?
i dont want your money. i am not sis. i dont like to indulge in material luxury all the time.
i just want people to care for me.
daddy did.
you did.
but daddy did more than you.
i know daddy more than i know you.
daddy knows me more than you know me.
somethings dad cant help and only you can. but you didnt help me. where are you when i needed you most
??
where were you? things are okay now, they are getting better.
now you want to steal the credit from daddy??

i struggle so much so much to forgive you of what you didnt know you have done.
but please, please dont put down my daddy.
daddy loves me.

i dont tell you things. because we dont have a relationship.

when i do tell you things, about how i think about issues that we have in common, like things at home.
i'm always seen as an argumentative person.
why?
cos when i try to let you see my point, i share it with my heart. and i believe in what i think.
not that i am right, but you are not always right too.
we all have our shortcomings, and biased perspectives.
but why can't you accept me and stop dismissing my ideas as that of an ignorant kid who only knows how to study.

you are just like those ppl who treat me as an stupid kid.
i look kiddish, i may present my ideas in a childish fashion to you (though i dont think so at all)
but when will you take off ur prejudice and see who i have grown to become?
i am eighteen.
i have a mind of my own before i even turned eight.
its been more than ten years, i thought it would be enough for you to realise.

why i didnt want you to throw it away?
cos that was how someone cared for me, in an area even my ex-boyfriend didnt bother.
i live in jurong and they came all the way from katong to jurong to give me a mattress to sleep on.
they work, but came late at night.
they were busy with preparing their marriage, but they didnt mind the time to come down for me.
not like they were going to send other items to other ppl in the vicinity.

and i told them abt my back less than i told you.
i told xiang ge once just once. i only said a statement, and didnt expect much attention.
like it had always been when i told you.
but xiang ge immediately reacted. she was the only one who bothered at that time.
i told you umpteen times, u never bothered.
many times you walked away before i finished my sentence.
did you even know?
i always dont know why i must forgive you. i struggle EVERYTIME i talk to you.

Lord, help me please.

i love pam. i cant think of what would happen when she moves to canada. like xinran.
i love yingying and chieh and kimberle and boon han and desmond and and so many HCians. i cant think of what would happen when they all leave singapore to study/ get tucked into the unkown corners of Singapore's last remaining jungles in the name of National Service.

HC ppl are such hi-flyers. i told berns that i feel so outshined there.
i would probably have more chances to shine in NJ.

now that As are nearing and graduation just round the corner.. other than the usual 'mug-till-you-die' schedule cluttering up my mind. there's a yet another implication
we are all going on our way. to different paths in life.

during PSLE it just meant different secondary schools.
during O levels it just meant different JCs.
for A levels, it means even across the globe.

im not so emotionally attached to HC.
but still, friends over on the other side of the hemisphere..
im envious and jealous of their possible chance to do so. i too want such a chance..
im reluctant to see friends dispersed around the world too. :'(
惆怅 可能就是让我们更加的珍惜彼此吧

downloaded the prelims timetable a while ago but only went to read it just now. and wow!
for the first time in my life, my birthday is AFTER exams.
okay, not the As. but after prelims is good enough.
and guess what. it ends ONE DAY before my birthday. which means my birthday calls for double celebration.
with those who don't take any S papers like me.

this is exciting. just 116 days to the end of As!

under than meaning that i have less than that no. of days to study. (effectively only 29 days left to prelims)
it means that im 116 days away from freedom, from packing my unsightly notes and files into the corner of my room, from buying a bike to cycle around singapore (and to retrieve my tan), learning swimming, photography and drums, going on holidays to HK, Korea yada yada.. and teaching tuition to earn easy money..
and with the money im getting myself a mp3 player, computer speakers, new mouse and keyboard, new clothes, a guitar, some of those holiday trips mentioned earlier, that bike..

i'd probably read the books i have miraculously accumulated over this year. as gifts, or for interest, which i failed to complete reading..or start. but i'd have 7 months to do that. time to brush up on english.

and maybe study at bible school?

i seriously dont want my brain to rot. :)