school.
what comes to your mind?
friends? games? playtime? getting good grades? companionship? a no-choice must go thing in life? a neccessary path to success in life? escape from parents? place to be cool and hang out with friends? gossipping-mates?

me, school: learning and learning: fun

i like to learn. i like to understand how my world works.
i like and eagerely learn.
my sister says im a werido when i can remember bits of my food chemistry off-hand and relate it to daily life. like how her luo mai kai spoils easily because of oxidative rancidity.
i thought it was cool. to know why things happen and how things happen.
i think to do that would require internalisation of the knowledge learnt in school..

dont you think?
or maybe you think im a nerdd - too.

maybe i am a nerd. whats wrong?

i like learning. never lost that zest since young.

i think at least half of the children in the world enjoyed school/ their first learning experience. If they have had the blessing of education.

why do we lament about it. its our blessing.
give thanks! how many people can't learn.
dont say: "aye, they like it cos they havent really gone through it"

i think we havent been treating our education the way we should and so we are sick of it. we are sick of grades and the striving for it. NOT learning.
the striving killed our zest for it. blinded our eyes to the joy of learning.
or for some, the failure to get good grades has been like a bucket of cold water doused upon our passion for learning.

i love to learn. i like to see new things about the old things that happen all around me.

why does my sister not like science? if i heard about oxidative rancidity of fats not in the LT but when my lo mai kai turned badd, i will be so amazed at the science!!
(and my sister will say: oh, i have a werido for a sister)

what's wrong. i think that's more interesting than LT learning!
Science itself is so amazing.

why? why do we limit our perceptions to the general stereotype of freaky science students, accquired from mindless misconceptions from American TV with students who gossip in school and try so hard to be cool, but end up being nothing useful really. (or if you cosider a vase an useful object then, they are)

these ridiculous TV shows extol ignorance and groundless stereotypes and deceive the public about the magnificence of science knowledge.

okay, that was emotional. but give it some thought!!
how do you share passion for learning without being emotional?

do you enjoy school for learning?

or do you go to school to hang out and chill with friends and pay no attention to the lessons going on??

Im glad i go to school and enjoy the learning- what it was supposed to be.

yayy. thanks : 05S78 for the funny moriji and mokozi family plushies and xiaoying's da tou gui ( look left)
although i have long grown out of soft toys.
da tou gui is really cute. haha. it looks like me. no eyebrows. :)



haha, kick start revision to As.
arghh. i failed math, just passed GP. my 2 feared subjects this prelims. i didnt do well lah, caused i didnt make a conscientious effort. but still, i have less than a month to pia.! ROARS. last lap!! yayy


jiayou ning! haha, jiayou for your Os too.. we are in the same boat! haha, if you are reading my blog, you should be studying. LOL.


if im blogging, im supposed to be doing my math!


BLEAHH.


ahh. anyone wants to buy new xbox 360?? current highest bid is $362 only!!
http://cgi.ebay.com.sg/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180031880024


okay, i want a more disciplined life!! wee~ i still rmb that uncle soon was talking abt spending wisely and using effectively what the Lord has given all of us. and part of that is our time. i think it really something i should improve on.
i see the way shi mu and mich and my spend their lives and i look at mine.
tsk, i waste 100X the time they spend on eating and non-work stuff. and i dont even 'enjoy' or relax during that time. i just waste it away like stare into space or lament about things like a spoilt child.


grr.


i make things so messy after i am done with my work.
i look at lao ma's room. she always so much busy than me and my room is like 1000X messier than hers.
i must do what i set out to do.
i set out to do what i set out to do. which at present, is mainly keeping to my revision plan.
and my task plan.


oh, btw! check this out!
there is a free movie screening at my church coming 13th Oct and ice skating on 14 OCt!!
anyone interested?? do come yah?
just SMS or something:D

toodles~

生日。 代表着的是什么？
我老爸说：若活到100 岁， 那就有100 个生日。 所以， 没什么特别的。 是无知的人 让商家乘机赚他们的钱。
幼儿时期，生日好像是好久一次的事。 有人庆祝就很兴奋。
懂事后， 发现自己生日收到的礼物 远远比不上姐姐的那份。
妈妈说：姐姐生日是年头， 钱比较多。
但我的生日礼物也不该沦落到 快餐的赠品吧？

之后生日就完全不庆祝了，
不知过多久， 生日仿佛 被妈妈 从她十万里深的 记忆海 中捞了起来。
生日礼物一年比一年 贵重。 但也不过是红包一封。

少年时的我， 是开心又多了钱。 心里却纳闷礼物中的心意实在少得可怜...
最后钱 还不是放进储箱里头。。 无丝毫的用处。

压在心里的失望渐渐变成了绝望..

时过境迁的今天。 非常珍惜会有人愿意为 我庆生。
今年也不少人 问了我到底几时有空。
是因为大考刚考完吗？ 不晓得.. 但是有一定的影响的。

礼物贺品速递送到。
祝福的话语 今年少了。 很多。
但这些 淡如水 的交情我已不依赖。
从前靠这些来自我安慰， 自我安抚。。如今更珍惜眼前会有人愿意花上时间为我庆生。

实践对我来说很重要。
我曾把它看是比较交情重要。
也用很多事情来麻痹自己。

可能就是如此， 见到有人为我付出而 非常珍惜。

庆生回家路上， 脑子想到自己 总也轻看别人的生日。 接纳了父亲的观点.. 试着让自己开心一些。
我立志要改变这个想法。

因为 单认识两年的同学 今天一听见了我的生日就 立即为我庆生。
虽然不会说是什么大派对什么的.. 但我本身也从不为他生日做什么。

只能对你纯着满心的谢意

a week of prelims is almost over!! :D:D
if only A levels would span over a shorter time.

oh wellls, i lost my phone after chem paper that day. zz.
my 6 year-old SIM card with primary sch friends no. to ROD memorise ans pretty pictures and recordings of special occasions.. all gone :'(

prelims officially end on wednesday for me! hah.
but all is not over yet i still have a Biology Option!! i havent started on.
and its amazing i cant remember my organic chem and periodicities already. -.-

now i already feel liberated.

hah, but i think im a lil obsessed with checking that my stuff are not missing from my bag ever since i lost my phone.
i made a police report today and was asked to do a customer service satisfaction survey after that. protection force or consumer service?

真不喜欢如此垂头丧气的
我知道周围的人都很忙。。教会的人忙着属灵周末， 同窗的都忙着温书。
我呢？
就懂得浪费时间自怜。
但我真的受不了了。 受不了常日见不到人影， 就独自困在房间里头， 对着书本猛啃。

现在就算是去属灵周末营也不是问题。

现在是我真的厌恶一切， 啥事都变得枯燥乏味。
我讨厌如此的样子。

难道我周围同窗真的不能依靠嘛
我不愿如此想。

为什么会有人能出去和朋友们一起温书。 而我就是那孤僻的我。

常常 爱独自一人的生活。 原来是因为日常生活中常接触到人。
如今放假的时候， 孤独的影子又再次出现， 笼罩着我的生命。

这是什么嘛。

今天没什么温书， 怎样都提不起劲儿。

我像是能胜任医学系要求的人吗？？
我可能不该痴心妄想了。

how to you separate illusion from faith.
all this while i wanted to go for the camp because it honours God.
and i have to admit that i wanted to honour You so that I will do well in my prelims just as i have honoured You and You have worked miracles in my block tests II.
but i've got it all wrong. all wrong.
its going there to want to break all that bondages and put down my past baggages that honours You.
so i haven't honoured You.
so im dead for prelims.
but if i really wanna honour You now, i wouldn't think about my prelims.
i have a wretche heart far away from You.
I know many things. i know YOu can do all things. I know. yet i dont know personally.
don't let this be the limit of my faith.
what am I.
my heart rots and smells worse than any carcass on this earth.
yet you see it and love me?!
my heart desires to be a doctor.
maybe i desire it far too much..

how do you break from a paper chase?
when you have enjoyed the chase as long as you have lived, and triumphed every obstacle by your strength
how do you learn how to rely on Him when you haven't done so in 16 years.
how do go through all the stages of a competition by your own strength and then at the final level learn to let go yet believe you can get the champion prize??
how?
by grace.

grace is undesereved favour.
its free.
its unlimited.

i dont have the faith to believe that i have that in my hands.
who is listening?
only You..

my ear is dull and my heart hardened.
i cant hear neither can i feel you
restore me my Lord.

I don’t need a lot of things
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring
I’ve always needed something

But I’ve got all I want
When it comes to loving you
You’re my only reason
You’re my only truth

I need you like water
Like breath, like rain

I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate

There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you

You're the hope that moves me to courage again
You're the love that rescues me when the cold winds rage
And it's so amazing cause that's just how you are
And I can’t turn back now cause you've brought me too far

I need you like water
Like breath, like rain

I need you like mercy
From heaven’s gate

There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through

I need You

i feel like giving up. everything. whatever. its just one more day..
but i dont know..argh.
i just need one thing. You.