hmm, i used to question how come people die.
why do they waste away.
i didnt know anyone who died personally..but i still do know part of the pain it inflicts.
or so i think.


we are all going to die anyway.
its like we all got this terminal illness. who won't die?


and the countless dramas i've seen about people contracting terminal illnesses (I exclude sappy korean dramas)
with the character, being at first mean and bossy.
and knowing about things in their life that they are doing wrong
but never had the strength to change them


when they have been diagnosed with the whatever funny rare disease..
they change for the better
they find the strength
they live their life to the fullest


perhaps sometimes to live life fullest, we must perceive death rightly.


I was thinking on the bus home today.
what if i had only 3 months to live

I would definitely not laze in my bed in the mornings.
nor stay up late doing absolutely nothing but being a couch potato
I would not complain that the canteen food sucks

I would not want my friends to know..at first
but want to savour every moment of my normal life before it deterioates to one without dignity
I want to do 3 main things: thanking the people around me is one of them.

death may not be such a far away event actually.
so why am i wasting time doing nonsensical things?