I'm certainly moving on. It's been too painful to bear.
But I don't know if I can leave right.
one says I'm sorry, I didn't have the courage to stand up for you although I knew friend quality lacking: loyalty
one says I guess you've been unhappy, I'm sorry for whatever that has caused you displeasure. hello, want to apologise be specific. I don't know what you are referring to. and you make it sound like I am at fault. that's no apology. that's saying "you are wrong I am right" in a different way.
red indian chief. mr. mastermind.. you are the one i actually once thought to be most probable to be a good friend. I regret my silly thoughts.
Even if you guys are leaving, or if you guys are not. This is what: I am leaving for better bigger things. but before that, I really don't know what to say to any one of you pseudo-friends. I can't even reply an email, or send a sms. I only told the first 2 people to wait for my reply, because I really have nothing in me. No strength whatsoever anymore, to say "I forgive".
for the simple reason: my primary school friend could face a discipline mistress and stand up for me. and get punished because of me. and say "I don't regret it" But these almost 20-year olds who claim to be brothers & sisters is less loyal than a 11 year old back then.
I never forget that friend although she has her own world now. NEVER FORGET. because she stood up for me. and I wasn't even there when she did that. I was already banished to another place for my punishment. and she made hell for that teacher for the unjustice we felt. I had a class of "friends". but she was the only one who did something about it.
it's not about strength in character, or holiness or what Biblical truth. its the question about mere friendship.
I am such a petty person. But I have been struggling so long, I still cannot CANNOT let it go.
我想我应该轻轻放开你的手 我却没有力气这麽做 O the irony, that letting go needs strength. and we only hold on because we are weak.
