today i finally got pissed off with myself for wasting one week of holidays
i shall stop my 1pm - 3am days.
although its 1am now.
i shall go and run everyday
and i shall make the best of my 6 weeks

blame myself on being so late today.
but i just had to wake my body up and go for a run and psych myself up for eveyrthing i want to do.
but i really want to end this all.
end this all futile efforts and move on.
i want to find something bigger
but im so irritated with myself, being held back by small things, bad things and bad habits.

some times my inner voice is full of crap i don't know why i still listen to it.
and i think the hardest thing to guard against is your own thoughts,
negative detrimental and destructive thoughts.
I will channel my energy to subjecting my thoughts under my will to stop entertaining them.
I'm NOT schizo!
but I need to wise up and be alert.

SETTLE AND LET'S MOVE ON!