i cant believe i slept from 3.30pm to 9.30pm.
so tired meh. tsk

anyway, i need to head the books soon.
maybe i'll sleep just a few more hours at night and wake up real early tmr.

somedays my heart and mind is filled up with thoughts of u.
somedays i think logic and stability returns to me.
somedays i my heart races when i see u, but i turn and tell myself - no it cannot be. it musnt be. i shall not be. it won't be.
somedays i feel like im lying to myself, fighting a losing battle.
somedays i feel like i just might win.
somedays i dream of u, wake up and ask God, why..
was it of God or of my flesh?

well, 日有所思也有所梦。
i dont want to make another mistake ever again.
and i dont want anything except focusing on God and studies.
i dont want distractions.

and like mum said.. there's no hurry.
so why can't i get it out of my cerebral neurones.
i wonder what chemicals stimulates such thoughts and how the memory is stored in my hippocampus.
i wish i could find a drug to curb them all. to inhibit the neurones, impair my receptors.
that'll do the trick. it must be the dopaminic receptors or those that are linked to hallucinogens!

Labels: sillythings