Yesterday... as i posted. was a hermit day.
and so i didn't sleep all night after that post... and proceeded to church.

Today i went to prayer meeting not because i was on duty.
Today I went to service with no stress.
and enjoyed it. almost every moment! the worship... the prayer.. and even baby sitting the good lil friend. who was very naughty today...

and for some reason, every time during communion day i am taking care of 小朋友... and haven't had it consecutively for some time already. so today i slipped in and did manage to partake in it. though a bit too rush for my comfort. I'm glad I could take care of the child, not feel irritated, teach him a few lil things, have a bit of fun, and still worship God in the midst of all.
Taking note that i haven't slept since 1pm yesterday... I would think today I have been just one step more in resting in the Lord.
It's wonderful... no more striving.. but things get done... but you are not tired out.

Like today. After service I finally found a khakia to eat with me can.
yah, everybody has a lunch buddy nowadays... and the people of my type don't exists in this part of the body of Christ.
I had a long and rare talk with my good sister. whose relationship i was honestly at wits' end for a long time. like being detached, not in touch... and somehow everytime we talk there was some kind of barrier.. :S

Subsequently... I was 30min late for the YN09 post trip meeting. which few turned up.. but was good. and then late for 30min for the CNY Reunion dinner (extended family).
Yupp.. but amidst all the rushing to and fro. from jurong to katong to tanah merah to Jookoon... everything was peaceful and unlike the old me.
I would be so frustrated, tired and thankful that the day is over. but now i have the strength to reflect, Thank God, and rest well :) physically...

I am lately reflecting on parenting methods. how the church i am in is rather paternalistic to me, because i have rebellious streak. and that they are of a different era... and i am wondering what kind of a 'parent' i am.... which i belive determines or shapes the way i will speak to people, like people who are struggling to understand God... because we are all children.. not fully understanding God's ways yet.
and so is a parent. Who learns parenting as a child grows.

fuzzy fuzzy standpoints and perspective. But i believe in experriential learning.

for one, i think singaporean parents (and any church leadership)...
need to acknowledge God's work as Sovereign in every person's life.. respecting them as individuals. and thus, not having a worrisome controlling tinge their actions.

yup. i believe parents and leadership tend to do so sometimes. but really... out of love.
nobody is perfect.
and i am merely forming & shaping opinions here. they may change over time as I desire myself to grow. do not judge me or misunderstand my heart... whoever is reading this (:

Labels: ministry, simple happyness

Well, school work's really snowballing again nowadays.
As i look at my new year's resolutions set just a month ago, they are in danger of all failing away.

the busy-ness, hectic schedules. CNY reunions & societal needs for New clothes...
I think i'd buy heels this year..maybe a pretty flower skirt & a plain top :)
or something. where got time?!

my new year's resolution of running every day is now dwarfed by all the homework.
Just thursday I decided not to procrastinate (new year resolution #2).
and went running at s 11:30pm
4.8km timing's quite bad (36min) but i'm glad i did it.

I don't want weird diseases when i get older. esp with my super budget constrained diet... and 8h non-stop lectures on 3 out of 5 days this semester.
I'm already trying hard to run 3x a week already. yet now.. that monthly feminine affair has commenced, further dampening my fast disappearing momentum.
Aunty Ruby's a great encouragement. She's like running everyday even though it's late at night at the gym... paying for it. How can I been slack?!

I must not.
I must not let the incessant ridiculous monotonous meaningless routine of life steal away the remainder of my youth. whatever i have left of the prime of my life.
I have got to set out goals to achieve. that i may look back,, in my sixties and say "it was a crazy time... but i achieved something"
Something more than grades & career achievements. transient pursuits in the rat race... pointless paper chases and materialistic pursuits.


Other than that, I really thank God for all that He has done since I left the juveniles.
The cell group that didn't exist when I left them, and the uncertainty was really no uncertainty at all... I'm glad I trusted in Him. and ended up in this cell group.

For a while I really doubted if I could even hear God anymore... was I too screwed up, too messed up, too evil, too lousy etc etc.. to ever hear Him speak again.
Friday's cell was great. Great seeing that everybody was so excited talking about missions & wanting to grow in the Lord together. (: crazy and impossible plans we didn't know where to start.... like what going to Kazakhstan for mission trip end of this year...(don't take this seriously... we were randomly brainstorming)
Coincidentally, or not, I was also thinking of setting up a medical mission in church that morning (like it was a totally random & impossibly funny thought). Yet, someone else brought it up during cell which got everybody excited~

Today i gave myself a break from the morning alarm. I slept till 1:30pm since I slept at 3:30am on Friday morning... and then I proceeded to study until now...
Bonjour pandan bread saved my growling stomach and my trusty tie guan yin tea leaves are great comfort!
I was doing thai 2 homework so happily for like 3h which felt like 1.5h. and I wanted to check if it was 11pm yet cos I was just destressing by doing Thai. I have like crazy test on Tues..
Yet I realised it was 1:30am!!!! *yikes*

Caffeine in tea leaves keeping my sympathetic nervous system stimulated.
Going on to memorise Asthma Medication Regiment.

love you. whoever is reading this :)

Labels: academia, love:), mugging ramblings, simple happyness, yay, 承诺