从去年2009 年至今日慢慢窒息在我的钱包里的这一张门票，终于得以重见天日了。
在无数的盼望到被多方拒绝之后，我终于独自一人去参展了。
我想，命名中自有安排...我想我一个人参展反而免去了不必要的压力。

虽然说大一的那一年已经见过赤裸裸的尸体，闻过腔鼻的福马林味，碰过这些软趴趴的五脏六腑，我今天还是忍着脚痛脚酸在展厅逗留了2小时。听着我mp3播放的赞美诗，迎面而来的第一个景观便是我们每一个人的起点。而耳边传来的则是这首：

祢创造宇宙万物，统管一切所有
祢却关心我的需要，了解我的感受
祢手扶撑天上云彩，打造永恒国度
但这双手却甘心为我，忍受彻骨钉伤苦痛

美丽小小的奇迹，在母腹里头发生。
奇怪的是，这些小小生命的死亡 （从4weeks 到8 weeks的foetus) 这么样排列出来，才能使我们正活着的人，寿命比他们长，人生经验相比之下丰富多彩的我们，更珍惜，了解自己的来源。
其实我从小都相信科学，相信进化论。 因为它很有道理，而创造论它，似乎没什么深度。
可我是在生活的mudane当中，看到耶稣的作为。才回去重新思考，重新询问进化论。
我想，microevolution 与 macroevolution 实在有极大的差别。而达尔文起初所观察的那Galapagos Islands 的状态，无非是microevolution的作为。而他从而影射世界万物也许是从类似的渠道而演变成的。他坦诚的说自己证据不足，所以还有待未来fossils的发现来支持他的hypothesis.
当然，他们还在寻找他们的missing link.而世界上有很多穷人也努力的在制造假fossils 来换取钱财。他们靠他们的想像力，参考买家的欲望打造了各式各样的"fossils". 真真假假，难以分辨。但我姑且相信的这位神，在我生命中做的事，却已经远远的超乎了我的expectations.

突然想到，小颖说她写什么cryptic entries that nobody bothers to read. I think 我写中文，已经够cryptic 了。没有人会读这么多的中文，包括我自己再内。

Anyway, let's get to the topic... i was rather fascinated that i got to see the curated samples being coloured. And even though every single sample was evidently very well prepared (in comparison to the pathology and anatomy lab in NUS!) Those that were not coloured literally paled in comparison to the colourful red muscles displayed. I stared and circled the Basketball Man many times, amazed at how the entire cadaver was able to keep its basketball-dribbling posture with no supporting structures. It was only standing on one feet, and through the specimen, at the other side, it was interesting to see a medical student walking round with the same expression I had when I saw it. "how is it standing" i guessed she was asking... because everybody walks slowly around the specimens to observe it, but at that moment, both of us did walk in a relatively higher speed around the specimen, only to find no strings, no supporting structures and just one feet stuck to the ground. a very strong glue indeed?

Anyway, most of the specimens are guys. And I finally found out what inguinal hernia is like. It's quite disturbing.... to think I named my Pet society pet after it!
Some, I think only 3 cadaevers I saw were female. And I must say the ladies were treated with pretty much respect & dignity. They were more than naked... were skinless, and yet, the exhibitors thought of such elegant names and postures for them. Like one of them was holding up two miniature bird cadaevers in each of her palms and lifting them up into the sky.... the exhibit was named something about 凤凰，phoenix or something. But it was really nice.
And the birds, along with the abodominal blood supply of the lady... were treated with this blood vessels corrossion technique or something. The blood supplies of the cadaever was impregnated with red pigmented plastic polymers, allowed to settle and then the entire tissue around them corroded to show only the blood vessels! So the "凤凰s" and the lady's abdomen were a starking bright red, whilst the rest of the lady was disected to show other stuff... i can't remember.

Oh, I felt that patho lab was such a spoiler! I saw a heart, so big, i immediately knew it was cardiac hypertrophy... and the carcinomas and the entire section on smoking and tar in the lungs.. that I just walked through without reading the small prints on the signs.
I guess I don't have the youthful enthusiasm about learning as much as I did just before I entered University. Some say that school ruins education. and I do think University did just that for me... the system and everything makes learning absolutely unfriendly for me.

I was really fascinated by the plasticised cadaevers of other animals though! There was a reindeer, a giraffe!!!, a giant squid and an octopus!! oh and a horse too!
Cool stuff.. the giraffe was really really tall. And it was a guy giraffe so it's reproductive organ just reminded me of that book Mrs Goh read to us in HC 4 years ago - "How Animals Do It" LOL.
Ya, the reproductive organ of the male giraffe is very long indeed. I actually remember my bio lessons... and not what the lecturer said yesterday.... hmm.

I guess I shan't let university drain me of my eager learning attitude. It's coming to an end... and I feel so drained. I must find back myself... the childish me inside curious about everything. (: I like to be so... because one of the themes of the exhibit was about ageing, gracefully... and about continuous learning and stuff. keeping our mind young. I shall find back myself...

My first half of this year is rather dedicated to much soul searching, after my self-destructive melacholy and depressing betrayals that has so broken me down in the past few years.
And about breaking the cycle of the grown up study getajob getmarried getold and die routine in Singapore... I have a fantastic business idea that just needs capital!
If somebody gives me the money to, probably I can start something totally new in Singapore, a family-oriented F&B service for people of my generation, my time and age, who are too busy & have to eat out... but want to DIY their food and eat healthy...
haha. IF i have the moeny... i can postpone my boring pharmacist career for a year or two to get this business going hahah. OH WELLS!

Labels: academia, HC, sillythings, simple happyness, yay

Well, school work's really snowballing again nowadays.
As i look at my new year's resolutions set just a month ago, they are in danger of all failing away.

the busy-ness, hectic schedules. CNY reunions & societal needs for New clothes...
I think i'd buy heels this year..maybe a pretty flower skirt & a plain top :)
or something. where got time?!

my new year's resolution of running every day is now dwarfed by all the homework.
Just thursday I decided not to procrastinate (new year resolution #2).
and went running at s 11:30pm
4.8km timing's quite bad (36min) but i'm glad i did it.

I don't want weird diseases when i get older. esp with my super budget constrained diet... and 8h non-stop lectures on 3 out of 5 days this semester.
I'm already trying hard to run 3x a week already. yet now.. that monthly feminine affair has commenced, further dampening my fast disappearing momentum.
Aunty Ruby's a great encouragement. She's like running everyday even though it's late at night at the gym... paying for it. How can I been slack?!

I must not.
I must not let the incessant ridiculous monotonous meaningless routine of life steal away the remainder of my youth. whatever i have left of the prime of my life.
I have got to set out goals to achieve. that i may look back,, in my sixties and say "it was a crazy time... but i achieved something"
Something more than grades & career achievements. transient pursuits in the rat race... pointless paper chases and materialistic pursuits.


Other than that, I really thank God for all that He has done since I left the juveniles.
The cell group that didn't exist when I left them, and the uncertainty was really no uncertainty at all... I'm glad I trusted in Him. and ended up in this cell group.

For a while I really doubted if I could even hear God anymore... was I too screwed up, too messed up, too evil, too lousy etc etc.. to ever hear Him speak again.
Friday's cell was great. Great seeing that everybody was so excited talking about missions & wanting to grow in the Lord together. (: crazy and impossible plans we didn't know where to start.... like what going to Kazakhstan for mission trip end of this year...(don't take this seriously... we were randomly brainstorming)
Coincidentally, or not, I was also thinking of setting up a medical mission in church that morning (like it was a totally random & impossibly funny thought). Yet, someone else brought it up during cell which got everybody excited~

Today i gave myself a break from the morning alarm. I slept till 1:30pm since I slept at 3:30am on Friday morning... and then I proceeded to study until now...
Bonjour pandan bread saved my growling stomach and my trusty tie guan yin tea leaves are great comfort!
I was doing thai 2 homework so happily for like 3h which felt like 1.5h. and I wanted to check if it was 11pm yet cos I was just destressing by doing Thai. I have like crazy test on Tues..
Yet I realised it was 1:30am!!!! *yikes*

Caffeine in tea leaves keeping my sympathetic nervous system stimulated.
Going on to memorise Asthma Medication Regiment.

love you. whoever is reading this :)

Labels: academia, love:), mugging ramblings, simple happyness, yay, 承诺

as the title suggests, i am here to suggest,
if anyone is considering buying my a 21st birthday present.

I guess I'd do this once in my life only. Because as you age, collagen production decreases as and your skin thins and wrinkles and you can't do such things anymore.

If you never considered buying me a present, a simple birthday wish is just as good :)

SO here goes:

What NOT to get: soft toys and overly flowery things or dresses. don't even try.

What you can consider getting:

-hairdryer, small and sleek, for secret reasons

-a crumpler bag green or yellow or orange, able-to-fit-a-macbook-in-snugly size

-converse sneakers brown or white or mildly pink or yellow or something i guess.

- something to hook to the side of my bed to prevent my feet from flying off the ground when i do sit ups.
not the kind that attaches to the door, cos I AM VERY TALL there isn't space in my room to do sit ups at my door.

- and so maybe exercise mats are good too.

- my camera batteries are weird, they charge weird and are exhausted within a few shots...I am using a Fujifilm Z5 camera. The original battery says its a NP-40 Model 3.6V 750mAh whatever that means. i only need like a couple of them. i don't eat batteries to do homework.

- i just pierced my ears so you can buy me nice ear studs, I don't fancy danglies too much, i like stars and hands and feet and not too kiddish stuff.

- shock resistant watch, although i am a very gentle person somehow non-shock resistant watches don't like me and quit whenever i try to clap my hands. which i do at least every week on sundays. ha.

- you can get me the collagen eye patch from faceshop cos CAs are coming and there are many late nights to convert me from Singaporean to China Panda. or skin food face masks
BUT NOT ANYTHING WHITENING. or aging or anti-wrinkle.

if you have any rich eligible bachelors with helicopters, villas and yachts or cruise ships to their name, you can intro to me and i will be able to buy you all the above list of things for the rest of your lives.

you see i am a very practical person, so you can always find people to share the ridiculously pricey things in the list, if you want.

Labels: simple happyness, yay

I just swinged down to NUS to grab my new netbook today.
am I too greedy?
now I have 3 computer screens staring at me in the space of my little room.

I have desktop PC. which is like 5 years old, self-assembled...
I have a Macbook. which is like 2 years old...
and now a Toshiba Netbook NB200.

I went home I realised I haven't been myself.
I usually check out the model and just go online to check out reviews.. to ask around how the laptop is.. but I didn't and when I did realise it. I quickly went online to check. OK, it's generally good. but just that it sucks at typing. which I immediately did realised when I saw it...
pity the Fujitsu has funny software that is not Microsoft Office. If not I would buy the fujitsu one for the keyboard is easier to type with. and which is the primary thing I think I would be using my netbook for.
I surely can't play typing maniac with my netbook until I develop a bond with it.
I hope my Macbook skills will not deterioate after that.

It's been eons since I went thorugh all that install drivers and rubbish start up, restart, wait for booting and things like that on a PC.
I only remember the WOW factor that I could open up my Macbook and start using it and playing with the functions in 2007.
now my stupid netbook is silly and starting up itself. in its own world, and refuses to talk to me. talk about an anti-social computer!
after I was glad it responded.. it went on the intsall norton antivirus and stuff again. yawns yawns.

went to ION orchard. and found the rumoured "cheaper stalls" area.
but didn't buy anything except for pretzels and nutritea barley cos everythign was so ex.
not to mention that the crumpler shop had such a small range of bags..
and that the ear piercing shop at wisma was ridiculously priced. I thought I could really go and peirce my ears today already. since talking about it since last year! what's with the real diamonds on the studds. do I need them?
my rich husband will get me bigger ones in future. Rah.

my netbook just restarted AGAIN. for the like 1080953088r098th time!!
anyways, its pink..
and yes.. I am a girl :)

Labels: sillythings, updates, yay

omg. this is like the most successful birthday celebration since I don't know when.
it's like the funnest and the most comfortable and happiest one :)

although its not my birthday, but I still got to enjoy it with the dearest dearest sisters in my life forever. :)
we went to escape theme park and I was so reminded of ang chieh! the other time I was with her, just the 2 of us, on the viking... on a early saturday morning. and I was like screaming beyond myself, to the point that I could only vibrate about a fixed position. and she was like totally enjoying it. we obviously sat at one end of the viking...and I rmb I started screaming when nobody (if they were on it) would have felt it being scary.

age makes you cowardly.

or maybe not. Meiyi was commenting about the scenery when I was sitting with her -.-
I was much better this time because I obviously refused to sit the higher ends of the viking.

then we blind folded her, and had a very interstingly co-operative taxi uncle that kept trying ways to help us not to reveal the location of our dinner. we promised to split the ransom with him, because we were like kidnappers. LOL.
ended up we went to PINCH OF SALT cafe @ tanjong katong road. it totally rocks.
the staff was great, the food was excellent, and they played the happy birthday song while Ren Wen came in. haha.. I love that place!
We were so full and satisfied after a rushed lunch and a whole tired day. but very fun.
it almost didn't feel like a normal sunday.

which is quite sad. last time sundays were to me the happiest day of the week.
now its only happy when I am off-duty and get to sit alone in my own world during service, with only God the Holy Spirit talking to me. and after that everybody would still be on duty and so I will just go back to the cheaper westerlies for my lunch alone :/

if only every sunday was filled with friends, fun, laughter & quality fellowship.
instead of outreach for the plain sake of it.

my throat feels sore now from screaming.
my heart feels happy now from the outing.

Labels: updates, vacation, yay

because delivery costs $50 at ikea
its worth it to have to open up all the car doors of my dad's taxi,
take up 2 parking lots of space,
spend 30minutes manouvering the 200cm++ long wardrobe into the taxi,
and get scolded my angmohs who wanted our parking space,
then drive off at 60km/h all the way home to prevent the glass door from cracking due to excessive vibrations

because the assembly price cost is ridiculous, and pretending to be a carpenter like Jesus was is enjoyable,
its worth it to spend 3hours assembling just the exterior frame only.

by the way, the angmoh was supposed by GARMENT to be from a GRACIOUS society.
and he horned damn loud. i said sorry we obviously are unable to close our car door... and so we can't give way yet.
the he sped up deliberately and screeched to a halt right in front of my dad's cab so that we would be unable to move out when we are done.
so my dad and i were panting and aching and trying our best to get out of the way ASAP. and there were a million and one other parking lots available at IKEA, on MONDAY NIGHT for goodness sake. but he insisted.

anyhows, my dad is a really good driver, he used to drive brand new cars shipped from overseas, from cargo ships.. and the cars were all spaced by centimeters apart. and he never crashed anyone of them.
so obviously we had no problem manouvering around the stupid angmoh's vehicle and went off happily.

so much for gracisou society!
its the locals not the angmohs that donate when i did flag day in secondary school anyway.
i was so taken aback cos i thought they were the most courteous ppl on earth. thanks to PAP.
they just like to make singaporeans look worse than we actually are.. on the relative global scale.

Labels: sillythings, updates, yay

contrary to popular belief, i actually do watch dramas...
because my enthusiasm for documentaries has been quenched by the never-ending stream of low quality films on Nat Geo and Animal Planet.

I just finished my HK drama, and probably would start on another jap drama.
and I would say that these two countries produce excellent shows :)
at least they are fast paced and sensible enough rather than low grade "idol"-craze in Taiwan & lame dialogues in Korean ones.

heh, the point is that I love the ending to Forensic Heroes 2 :)

that aside, I suddenly have the urge to leave my hair long.. after 9 years of not doing so.
I used to love my long hair, and mourned its demise after I entered RV.
Maybe some others would argue that I had my hair long in 2005. But that was a laziness in trimming my hair after O levels locked me up in my room with Chow Ban Hoe's crazily-out-of-syllabus teachings.

Perhaps, if I don't give up when the weather is too hot, that I may have my long hair back again. hee hee. It's time for a change.
Maybe I can ask evil green pixie to go pierce my ears with me when she comes visit next week.

oh, and maybe this is just another nonsensical illogical bout of craziness the female subspecies of mankind experiences from time to time.

Labels: sillythings, updates, yay

hey~
I just bought my new foldable bike.
so happy so happy. I'd be using it to go to work in the next few months...

I won't need to walk an agonising 20min to the nearest MRT anymore!
Neither do I need to walk 10min to the bus stop to wait for another 10min to wait for the bus just to take 2 stops of bus to the MRT :)
yayys
but weather's really hot and cycling makes you smelly..
I hope they install deodouriser in the MRT aircons... maybe something that can stick right under your arms HA!

Labels: vacation, yay

this is it this is it.
tomorrow is the start of the end.

something happy to keep me going:
new addition to my wish list...
A VESPA! :D

I hope, pending permission from superiors. :p
am i being too ambitious? ho ho
but this will certainly spur me on! :D

Labels: mugging ramblings, yay

the instant noodles is boiling
and I'm playing the song Hero is playing

all feels so surreal
that such and such a defiant child of God has got her prayer answered

I'm going to an ideal spot for my preceptorship.
and although going to batch 1 is the choice for most people
and I also put that down, I regretted it cos I'm like so dead beat tired now I feel like collapsing anytime.
And God knows.

so I got batch 2.
I get to rest.

I am going to buy a bicycle to cycle to work. :)

and I got to work at Guardian! My dream place for attachment! :D
non-pharmacy people will be scratching their heads.
but it's Guardian is better than polyclinic or unity or watsons okayy.

one can dream
and dreams motivate.
i realise my dreams
i am not a perepetual dreamer
i rest and dream
and work to realise them.

this totally fits into the dream i have had last night.
a dream that kept me awake and filled with excitement.
a dream for REST.

never realised how important that is?
then you never really lived.

Labels: updates, yay, 我的良人

can u believe it?!
recess break is over.
i hardly caught up on much of my academics
but im gladd 2 projects are kicked off in the butt

though i spent 4 X 6man hours this morning doing what could be done in 2 X 4 man hours
or woman hours

see see:
my love valentines!! :D

Labels: yay

I dated my boyfriend! and I finally got to see him(her)!!
I'm so happy thanks to match maker kimberle we managed to contact each other half way round the globe

My lovely cyber stalker boyfriend, one day we will work hand in hand to eradicate all viruses and stop their life cycles. Let's memorise our parts together for our tests.
Oh this sounds so geeky but I guess that's what most Hwachongians are.

Although kimberle seems to think of me and contact me more than my boyfriend does. I think it's cos my beloved is so much engrossed in studying his(her) work than lazy kimbo.

Recently I have been doing micro biology work and counting cells (learning the theory) going to do the actual practical. And immediately I thought of you boyfriend. because the first semester in Cambridge I remember you counted the bacteria colonies on the square grid thing till sun set or something like that. I hope I need not go through that. I will dilute my culture appropriately and back calculate. :) I wonder why you didn't do that last time!

It's been a while since I blogged eh? I haven't progressed much academically, spiritually, emotionally. Problems are the same and I seem to be stuck in a round about of my own feelings.
My life don't seem like a sine curve anymore. Neither does it look linear or anything. in fact it looks like a x2 + y2 = r2 graph.

KIMBERLE WOKE ME UP AT 5.19AM THIS MORNING.
and said I was late. when she dated me at 6am!!!
And all she wanted to do was say "hi, happy valentines day, i'm going to catch a movie"
luckily my boyfriend pei me after that. but it was a different morning, and a good one.
Thanks Kim, but don't do such things again okay.

I hope my other fellow RVian enjoyed herself too. that green evil pixie. yingying is no need to say one...busy until don't pick kimmie's call. haha.
I love RVians and the honorary ones (chieh and kim)

Labels: updates, yay

Caroling @ SGH this evening was fun:)
I have no photos and I doubt anybody took any.
There simply was no time

but I like what happened:
the patients smiled :)

it's a joy to bring people joy
'tis the season to be jolly falalalala~

if only we could HUG the patients!
since they can't escape from their bed.
maybe, they could be hugged to health, like Heidi Baker did!

one day, I wanna go do something like that for God too

SPLASH - Aspiring Greatness

Labels: ministry, yay

I'm so happy happy happy.
My to-do list was NEVER embarked on.
now I have more to do
but I also feel I have more in me to go on:D

BIG THANK YOU to my Lord :)
who refreshed me during the retreat.

wasn't having much personal time but was still manageable within comfortable levels.
though I would need so 自闭time these few days.
I wonder how, with the work I need to do:D

spending the nights facing the sea and sorting out my thoughts was great.
some issues have to be settled.
some breaking has to be done.
i love You


most of the time we just fellowship-ed in the resort
playing uno and saboteur and reading books (some others sleeping)

baby sitting was fun.
here's my 小朋友what i appreciate most about the camp?
I don't think Banana Boat was high on the list but I so so wanted to go on it, so there were 6 others who just accompanied this other little one and went on the Banana Boat :) Thanks. :')

Labels: love:), vacation, yay

无比的开心。
可以去祷告会了！

无比的开心。
神是顾念我的神。
他把我心里所求的赐给了我。:)

My short term tuition assignment ended on Monday
And I received another immediately when I got home from that last tuition session.
It's a tuition just beside NUS. LIKE CAN WALK THERE THAT KIND.
means I can go between lessons.
or before trainings.
earn money without extra time spent!

not that the little slot i have in between trainings and lesson could help me catch up on much work anw.

SP1203 Presentation soon.
I'm so gonna get this module out of the way.
PR2104 Lectures have officially ended.
Hello exams, I'm gonna conquer you:)
I'm not afraid. I'm in expectation of what God is going to do.

and i just realised that i won't have lectures for PR2104 on Friday.
Means that its a waste of time for me to have my 5pm tuition. since i need to stay in sch although i have no lecture.
Seriously, I dont study that well in sch.
not for this semester.

after training, i've got one sms.
my tuitee requested for tuition to be earlier this week.
and to be exactly the time that i end my previous lesson and can reach there! wow.

Labels: love:), updates, yay, 我的良人

Celebrations
Meiyee + Wen + ALL
yummy buffet lunch::loved the sashimi & bread pudding & ginseng soup

canoe.polo.girls
funny surprise for us september babies::& lizard trying to distract us although her hand was hurting

SPLASH
another surprise! guest starring Mummyee & Wen:: cake fight is so nostalgic
used to have to clean up my school canteen back then
even Min Nan sneaked an attack on me :o

Wishes
Church: a million and one
05s78: RVians - GreenPixie, Yings + Ang Chieh, Kimbo, Nicholas, Biondi, Li Min, Andy
NUS Canoe Polo: Joycelyn, Van, Lizard
NUS Pharm: Kah Mun, fellow Grace the unglam, ClaraFu, Yinshan (06S78)
05S21: Chee Yen :O + Ang SY
RV: Boonie, Sixuan (-1; cos i wished her instead ha. same bdae), Gillian

Gifts!
Hercules Auto-Grip Guitar Stand sis
Pink Polo Tee Meiyee+ Wen
NONGirly Flowers Meiyee + Wen
Boat Figurine (they couldnt find a canoe) Meiyee + Wen
Beautiful Photo from the Happy Family
NEW BOOK to read! Splash
Threadless Tee ying
Random Greece Photo + Keychain kimberle

and loads of cakes to eat, three days in a row from CanoePolo then from FengSheng and then from Splash.

its weird to write all these down, but its for record's sake.. one day i'd read through this and rmb all the love.:)

Labels: canoe polo, love:), nostalgia, updates, vacation, yay

there goes my youth

there is this sudden dread looming over my head.
like an impending thunderstorm

people say that once you hit 20, 30 will be coming soon
YIKES.

today i went to visit my old hunt.
i went to jurong point.
admist the buying of gifts for other fellow september babies... i was partly reminiscing the old days in RV pinafore, strolling down the deserted alleys of the mall during those lazy afternoon hours after school.

the place changed, but not quite.
renovation works going on, with a new bus terminal, and certainly much more crowd since its a saturday..
i saw familiar shops at familiar spots, interwoven with new stalls i never seen before.

i squeezed through the crowd along the unfamiliar portions, only to arrive at that basement escalator that leads to the POSB Bank below, outside breadtalk.
then i thought "oh! so this is where I am"

the place that i just walked through, used to be a dead end wall..

i never bothered to look down, to check if it was still a POSB Bank there.
i assume it to be so.

I thought of the countless times i walked into the side entrance of the mall, with my friends..
from seondary one classmates, secondary one crush to secondary four buddies..
and even my very first boyfriend :)
ha. it all seems so far away right now. yet so near.
it was just at that spot.. that neoprint shop which is now no longer there.

where my childish puppy love waited for me during chinese new year in the deserted mall.
where we catched the movie Peter Pan and took a neoprint.
he was wearing his best i ever saw.
i was wearing my sari and we smiled the heartiest smile of our lives.

i thought i found the one.
and he thought too.. i hope.

it was in jurong point, or else in JEC.

it was also in jurong point i first met my last ex.
it was the first time i noticed him, but not his first time..
he just booked out from army and i was just looking for something to destress admist my O levels mugging - i rmb i called it the Big Fat Os last time.
and tore my Entry proof into pieces and probably burnt it after the last paper.

this uneasy acquaintances catched a movie together and become more than mere acquaintances.
i dont know if i regret knowing him
all i know is that without him bringing me to church
i would probably be a worse wreck than i was then
and there's no point in speculating the probabilities should things happened another way than they already have.

then i came home and turned on my facebook.
i saw in an album "tell me this aint classics" by a fellow squadmate.
and i saw myself, and my other RVNP Girls.. in our sec three days. i am sure..
taking a picture in who-knows-where.
i miss those days when i had gung-ho friends pia-ing alongside with me every PT training every drill session.
to stand under the hot sun and to get cramps from doing rusouk senjata with our M16s, all because we wanna put on our no.1 uniform and stand in the front row of the GOH Contingent. which was fated to be cancelled due to the stupid SARS!!! :(
i did get to become contingent commander in supporting contingent holding a drill cane but not in my yearned for no.1 uniform the following year.
except that i was glorified without my squadmates and the NCO squad was falling apart from internal conflicts and CCA Politics! :(

well, when you are old you tend to nag.
so there, that's just part of the crazy days of my youth.
the ones that are so far away from me i feel

those are the days i wasn't a Christian.
where i fought and scolded that F word like it was la lor meh mah in my sentences.

JC days dont seem too far off yet because that was when i changed to become who i am now.
maybe when im 25 years old.. i would look at my JC days and type an entry just like this one?
who knows?

dare to love
play hard study hard
live life the fullest - the way the Lord has prepared for me

Labels: love:), nostalgia, sillythings, yay

oh the very thought of recess break coming perks me up
to pen down this very stimulating thought of the century

just came back from canoe polo

i am very excited.
i dont know why
maybe its because i wont have 8am lectures for one week
and no dreaded thursdays with 8am to 5pm lessons

i am very busy
i dont know why
its supposed to be holdiays
and i was supposed to have diving trip to tioman to get my advanced open water diving license course

now i have outing with my Thai class to go eat Thai food with our ?aacaan (teacher)
and to go play mahjong. i wonder if ?aacaan can play mahjong

now i have training during recess (YAYs)
now maybe i will go for some pharmacy workshop too

now i have tuitions X 3 as usual
and the ACS(I) IP syllabus is not very practical for the normally intelligent student.
it's catered to the crazily intelligent kind.
I have two ACS(I) Students.
luckily one is just sec two so i still dont need to refer to anything
everything he needs to know i have in my head permanently already.

None of my students are from the NORMAL government school.
they are either IP or international school

why am i still feeling happy while typing all these.

oh and i am finally going to have discipleship again.
it's been ages.
i miss it. and i wanna go for 4th service too! :D

by the way, the comic strip a few entries ago was posted with a sense of humour.
i am not unhappy about my birthday
though i am about other stuff(s). :(

Labels: updates, vacation, yay

mum's back :) finally

MAF later.
i never went for MAF before
hope i dont regret going..
slept till ike 12pm, ate 1.30pm, slacked till now though hmwks piling.

就是那种只想包头大睡的感觉。
什么都不想理会。
这世界上，怎么就是有无法摆脱无法逃避的事。
小时候包头大睡一定管用。现在却于事无补...
反而更糟糕。

烦死了

Labels: mugging ramblings, sian, yay

today we got our tentative positions in the game

soon we'd get to play the real thing, roll and tackle each other in the pool:)
my father is amused that such a game even exists lol

study back locks still on
conquering one by one

and great. now i have three tuitions (= 3 nights)
3 days of training.
1 weekday of serving
i need to become super woman

and anw think im going for Advance Open Water Diving License!! :D
Night dives would be fun!! seeing those luminous fishies.... ~ ahh.. life!
Pity that I'm going like Tioman AGAIN.
which was where i took my open water :S
Love! <3

Labels: canoe polo, yay