从去年2009 年至今日慢慢窒息在我的钱包里的这一张门票，终于得以重见天日了。
在无数的盼望到被多方拒绝之后，我终于独自一人去参展了。
我想，命名中自有安排...我想我一个人参展反而免去了不必要的压力。
虽然说大一的那一年已经见过赤裸裸的尸体，闻过腔鼻的福马林味，碰过这些软趴趴的五脏六腑，我今天还是忍着脚痛脚酸在展厅逗留了2小时。听着我mp3播放的赞美诗，迎面而来的第一个景观便是我们每一个人的起点。而耳边传来的则是这首：
祢创造宇宙万物，统管一切所有
祢却关心我的需要，了解我的感受
祢手扶撑天上云彩，打造永恒国度
但这双手却甘心为我，忍受彻骨钉伤苦痛
美丽小小的奇迹，在母腹里头发生。
奇怪的是，这些小小生命的死亡 （从4weeks 到8 weeks的foetus) 这么样排列出来，才能使我们正活着的人，寿命比他们长，人生经验相比之下丰富多彩的我们，更珍惜，了解自己的来源。
其实我从小都相信科学，相信进化论。 因为它很有道理，而创造论它，似乎没什么深度。
可我是在生活的mudane当中，看到耶稣的作为。才回去重新思考，重新询问进化论。
我想，microevolution 与 macroevolution 实在有极大的差别。而达尔文起初所观察的那Galapagos Islands 的状态，无非是microevolution的作为。而他从而影射世界万物也许是从类似的渠道而演变成的。他坦诚的说自己证据不足，所以还有待未来fossils的发现来支持他的hypothesis.
当然，他们还在寻找他们的missing link.而世界上有很多穷人也努力的在制造假fossils 来换取钱财。他们靠他们的想像力，参考买家的欲望打造了各式各样的"fossils". 真真假假，难以分辨。但我姑且相信的这位神，在我生命中做的事，却已经远远的超乎了我的expectations.
突然想到，小颖说她写什么cryptic entries that nobody bothers to read. I think 我写中文，已经够cryptic 了。没有人会读这么多的中文，包括我自己再内。
Anyway, let's get to the topic... i was rather fascinated that i got to see the curated samples being coloured. And even though every single sample was evidently very well prepared (in comparison to the pathology and anatomy lab in NUS!) Those that were not coloured literally paled in comparison to the colourful red muscles displayed. I stared and circled the Basketball Man many times, amazed at how the entire cadaver was able to keep its basketball-dribbling posture with no supporting structures. It was only standing on one feet, and through the specimen, at the other side, it was interesting to see a medical student walking round with the same expression I had when I saw it. "how is it standing" i guessed she was asking... because everybody walks slowly around the specimens to observe it, but at that moment, both of us did walk in a relatively higher speed around the specimen, only to find no strings, no supporting structures and just one feet stuck to the ground. a very strong glue indeed?
Anyway, most of the specimens are guys. And I finally found out what inguinal hernia is like. It's quite disturbing.... to think I named my Pet society pet after it!
Some, I think only 3 cadaevers I saw were female. And I must say the ladies were treated with pretty much respect & dignity. They were more than naked... were skinless, and yet, the exhibitors thought of such elegant names and postures for them. Like one of them was holding up two miniature bird cadaevers in each of her palms and lifting them up into the sky.... the exhibit was named something about 凤凰，phoenix or something. But it was really nice.
And the birds, along with the abodominal blood supply of the lady... were treated with this blood vessels corrossion technique or something. The blood supplies of the cadaever was impregnated with red pigmented plastic polymers, allowed to settle and then the entire tissue around them corroded to show only the blood vessels! So the "凤凰s" and the lady's abdomen were a starking bright red, whilst the rest of the lady was disected to show other stuff... i can't remember.
Oh, I felt that patho lab was such a spoiler! I saw a heart, so big, i immediately knew it was cardiac hypertrophy... and the carcinomas and the entire section on smoking and tar in the lungs.. that I just walked through without reading the small prints on the signs.
I guess I don't have the youthful enthusiasm about learning as much as I did just before I entered University. Some say that school ruins education. and I do think University did just that for me... the system and everything makes learning absolutely unfriendly for me.
I was really fascinated by the plasticised cadaevers of other animals though! There was a reindeer, a giraffe!!!, a giant squid and an octopus!! oh and a horse too!
Cool stuff.. the giraffe was really really tall. And it was a guy giraffe so it's reproductive organ just reminded me of that book Mrs Goh read to us in HC 4 years ago - "How Animals Do It" LOL.
Ya, the reproductive organ of the male giraffe is very long indeed. I actually remember my bio lessons... and not what the lecturer said yesterday.... hmm.
I guess I shan't let university drain me of my eager learning attitude. It's coming to an end... and I feel so drained. I must find back myself... the childish me inside curious about everything. (: I like to be so... because one of the themes of the exhibit was about ageing, gracefully... and about continuous learning and stuff. keeping our mind young. I shall find back myself...
My first half of this year is rather dedicated to much soul searching, after my self-destructive melacholy and depressing betrayals that has so broken me down in the past few years.
And about breaking the cycle of the grown up study getajob getmarried getold and die routine in Singapore... I have a fantastic business idea that just needs capital!
If somebody gives me the money to, probably I can start something totally new in Singapore, a family-oriented F&B service for people of my generation, my time and age, who are too busy & have to eat out... but want to DIY their food and eat healthy...
haha. IF i have the moeny... i can postpone my boring pharmacist career for a year or two to get this business going hahah. OH WELLS!
Labels: academia, HC, sillythings, simple happyness, yay
你知道吗？i want to change my blogskin since 2 years ago.
okay i just made that up but it has been really long ago. i wanted to change. i think in year 1 or year 2 i took this really nice pic and always wanted it to be my new blogskin backdrop. and I haven't even met with my designer to discuss about it!
*grabs phone and call now!*
oh okay just fix a date.
i feel good not procrastinating (2010 resolution #1)
你知道吗? i went to run 6.464km today (:
yayyness and i beat my very lousy 49minutes record of running 6.3km around pandan reserviour in 2004. (wow 6 years ago)
i beat it by um.. 1 minute
but anyways, i was so happy i wanted to post it on facebook but i realised that there are people who run ultra marathon in my social circle and i risk appearing to be a american couch potato kindda person. (:
