24 February 2008
inspiration
Singapore airshow:Today's shuttle buses are free. It cost $5 yesterday.
Luckily, my dad fetched me there. but i feel for those who took the bus. because there isn't much of a choice too since the exhibition place was SO SO out of the way.
i wanted to take bus service 9 to the changi village area to see the stunts.
the buses were so jammed up, and the passengers can't stick their head out of the bus when the show was on and they were stuck in the traffic jam.
i wish i had a dslr. :(
i wish i had someone to teach me how to do cool tricks with my camera.
Marie Curie is quite a cool person, and one of the women in history that inspires me.
But the fact that you have to do a write up on somebody, usually contaminates their marvelous discoveries and difficulties they face with a tinge of awlful deadlines and the feeling of it as a chore.
I fell asleep on wen's bedroom floor while reading a book
Marie in 90 minutes. Such books always do me a favour, giving me a brief outline in minimal amount of time. so that i can do my write up and fill in the blanks by research wherever i think appropriate.
I'm not a fast reader, and am a very big picture person. If I continue too long and see no big plan or how it fits in, i usually give up and get irritated. So there's the right book.
Of course, I still have more to read on her. :(
and coincidental or not, i'm reading a book given to me quite some time back now.
on Faithful women in the course of history. pretty much during the turbulent times of intermittent wars and revolutions. when ideas sparked and caused segregation in european communities. hmm, i wonder, if it's really that during such turbulence do Man exhibit their true innate ability to the fullest. and is the reverse true, to what percentage?
anyhow, some women can really do a millinon things and excel them all.
no wonder man needs woman for a help mate.
we do everything, big and small. women, in general.
like how Sarah Edwards took care of her household of over 10 children, from cutting firewood to
making candles. i mean, we can just go and buy these things but they had to make them last time. that's like one million and one things to do. and how they find time to do the others? it kindda blows my mind. but i guess, every girl would become a woman.
and one day, i too may become someone great too :)
someone who can be great in my daily life. no matter who i am now.
i just need to work harder and work on it.
human is human, a century ago and now.
so i can do those and more.
Freshman seminar is quite a slack module. but i guess im really inspired by all that my prof talks to us about. maybe one day. I'll be the next Nobel prize winner. maybe one day, i'd have 10 kids, can do research, find a new drug and patent it, invent something and set up a new company to sell it, all at the same time.
maybe. who says i can't?
inked 19:58 hours
22 February 2008
its holiday
ok, so i have wasted my day today.
what did i do?
i woke up at 8am. but only crawled out of bed at 11am.
too power liao. can laze there for 3h doing nothing, and going back to sleep despite not being tired.
what did i do?
i spent time travelling all the way to esplanade library to borrow a marie curie VCD so that i do not need to read books to do my write up on her.
but end up not getting it because im not a stupid premium member, and i need to pay $21 a year for it. com'mon, its just another name for VCD rental. I'd just do it at the shop at my market, at $3 per disc.
yesterday night, i watched 'Bridge to Terebithia' which was quite so-so. despite the incessant praising of the show by my sister.
and i borrowed some documentary VCD to watch. and decided to copy it to my com. cos its really good :) which my sister thinks otherwise.
arts people never ever like reality. their heads are always in the clouds.
show me a specimen of them that's contrary to my
hypothesis theory.
i went for a brief 30 min trip to the Jurong library, before it closed. and bagged books on Marie Curie and photography until my loan quota exceeded its limit. urgh. it's only like a few books, and i can't borrow anymore. tsk.
I still have one more Christian literature i wanna finish by this holiday.
I should be liek Phineas and Ferb. wasting not one day of my holiday and making it all worth while.
but more than that, everyday of my life.
i've decided, nobody can stop what i want to do if i set my mind on it.
and i'm gonna kick the lazy bugs outta my system.
life's short. don't waste my time.
Labels: updates, vacation
20 February 2008
back on my feet
well, i guess i'm not so emo already.
maybe some positiveness has been deposited into me, and i hope it multiplies.
it's time to get back on where i left off, where i gave up and continue my plans of discipline.
which i threw out of the window for approximately two weeks.
nothing good was i up to during these period of time,
being hooked on anything possible that i could lay my hands on.
even the lamest PC games you can find.
and i almost finished the hanayori dango series. but i ain't going to continue any further.
for one, its a waste of time..to continue. and the ending is obvious.
mid semester is here. get up get going. rejuvenate and press on.
and the three month break would be the last break of my life i guess.
next year onwards would just be attachments.
and within a few more years, i'd be working.
looking forward to:
- a holiday job to fund no. 2.
- Europe tour? with 05S78-ers
- holiday with fellow grace! any good suggestions?
criteria: beach, sun, sea, serenity.
that'll prbably take up all of my holidays already.
but i guess its good too. fun:)
maybe i'd try canoe polo.
tmr's my worst subject -physio test.
i hope my gastric juices could be analysed on the spot. i wish i had super eyes to see through everybody's body and understand the physiology that happens.
you know the answer to the paper is usually right in us, around us, before us during physio test. but we never ever get it.
we are never as smart He who created our body.
Labels: updates
15 February 2008
shit i actually found the hanayori dango series on tudou.com
i need to control myself and study.
but maybe i will watch it during mid sem break.
wahahaha.
i am supposed to sleep and study early tmr!
Labels: yay
13 February 2008
12/2/08 - blogger was down (2)
met a friend today, who said that i looked really tired and down and out..
i guess you can really tell huh?
So the Lord said to Cain," Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." i decided to give it a try.
come what may, but i think i should do to my utmost best what i have now before i can be sure i can take on something new. not give things up and exchange.
i realised how little i have done and how silly i was thinking that i was a busy person.
there's much more discipline i have to instill in my life. much much more.
i couldnt sleep last night and browsed through the cable tv channels.
watched hanayori dango. the japanese version. not the cartoon.
i think japanese guys are super shuai.
domyoji and all. :) of course Rui was not my type so wasn't impressed.
haish, and i thought of the first time i watched the cartoon version of hana yori dango in secondary one.. seven years ago when i was still 13 years old. i feel so old and hanggard now.
nevertheless japanese guys are charming. though my lousy friends don't agree. i think they have bad taste. haha.
taiwan really makes everything bad. and weird. and cmi.
original jap drama therapy. haven't had that in ages.
and people who knew me from JC would probably think this isn't me.
but anw. this is the 13 -15 year old me. J-Pop crazy. HEH.
DOMYOJI!!
and i slept at 3am because he was so shuai.. muahaha. i will sleep earlier tonight.
i have the sudden urge of watching the whole drama :p
Labels: yay
09 February 2008
《门徒》
last night went to ying's house supposedly for movie marathon.
super tired, ended up sleeping at 4am. goodness.
in the end i watched protege myself on ying's laptop.. and subsequently huiwen and ying joined me.
super nice show..and very fast paced. didn't feel like 1h40min, though it was.
haven't watched a good show for quite a long time.
到底是毒品恐怖，还是空虚恐怖？
and wu yan zu was super shuai even though he was unkempt and jumping from the building being chased by cops.
the show supposedly had a lot of gore. said hw cos she went to the movies to watch, which i wanted to. but apparently this DVD is like non-pirated stuff from China and is censored. So hengs, the gore quite gross. like rats running around a drug addict's partially decomposed body.
I still prefer those in the Anatomy Hall at NUS.. :S
but I am impressed by China. Her government's censorship MAKES SO MUCH SENSE as compared to ours. Though they apparently down played the nice ending scene which was rather artistic and made a huge impression to hw, it was for moral reasons. Cos they didn't wanna show how the needle enters the body, lest people watch and now how to 'enjoy' drugs in China. safeguarding the young, unlike sg censorship.. its the cut across board XX kind of scene, cut, YY kinda scene don't cut. stupid.
and the movie ratings. seemingly more levels then our old PG and RA, is full of crap.
ANYHOW rate. why don't they just hire me.
I came home and watched another hour of cartoon then slept.
I have thrown discipline outta the window this week.
and It won't be easy getting it back.
I have thrown some else outta the window, to try to leave without it.
Last night, I realised that I am no longer what I was 4 years ago. I can't live out my present lifestyle. Can't.
But I don't know how to regain.
It's scary how a single misconceived idea can bring you this far in a mere matter of days.
and possible undo what has happened to me in years.
what's next?
Labels: :(, updates
08 February 2008
my oh-so-exciting day 2 of chinese new year
wee~ i decided to play a bit of HTML after a zillion years of not touching the template tab in blogger.
okay. quoting yining - its really fun and time consuming
today has been rather unproductive as i read through only two chapters of my textbook FOR THE WHOLE DAY.
adinandra belukar grows in acidic nutrient deficient soil which has low total N
and P content. that's also why decomposition is slow, as bacteria requires N to
breakdown plant material.. trema beluka thrives in undisturbed clearings and are
rare in singapore. they are found in areas where forests canopy is broken due to
an old tree dying.. YADA YADA.
the lesser dog-faced bat, the long tailed macaque, the slender squirrel, the rafflesia pitcher plant, the yellow bulbul, the carpenter bee, the malayan anteater, the slender pitcher plant, the lalang grass, hydrilla, fire-breaking trees and a tons of scientific names have been my companion so far for today. and that's how far they will go.
i can't believe i am playing the Windows XP 3D Pinball Space Cadet thing for half of the time.
its not even fun. but it takes my mind off some things i refuse to handle.
maybe im better. maybe im just numb.
well.. i still havent done the million and one things i blogged about in the past week.
and i am supposed to be at yings house NOW to watch movie marathon plus pot luck!
and before that, was intending for a mahjong session with my old mahjong kahkee.
this CNY did not have much mahjong. oh wells.
cos spent time to do something which my family should have done for many years.
and cousins weren't too enthusiastic about it either.
angbao harvest was good.
but i realised the accumulated debt kindda cancels it out.
debtless is good, anw..
i wish i had somebody i could really talk to.
but i don't.
there's tons who would care.
but few or None that can understand or give practical advice.
how?
actually i already know the answer.
i just don't like it.
07 February 2008
happyness is..
inked 01:15 hours
05 February 2008
inked 19:56 hours
i feel like shit.
i dont want to do anything at all ANYTHING.
disappointment is my name.
04 February 2008
temporal euphoria
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
i am suddenly a bit the high.
but the kind of will not very long the kind of high.
cos erm, no reason why i am high.
nothing's solved yet, nothing's REsolved yet to be exact.
except..
- CHINESE NEW YEAR IS COMING!
ang bao ang bao ang bao
and then i can exchange the angbao money for two things: a formal blouse plus a new bag for school
i am no spendthrift! those who know me for 1 month would have seen my entire closet already.
and my current bag is my sister's unwanted garbage.
she bought it when she was in primary FIVE. which means a DECADE ago.
but recently this kind of crumpler style bag became popular AGAIN, and plus ZINC which was some pasar malam thing a decade ago is quite branded now.. so whatever. I am still using it. Just that erm, I don't think it's been washed..(eeks)
- no more school this week!!!!
haha, yes. today is the first and the last day of my school this week. thank God for my fantastic timetable which He Himself worked out for me. Mine wasn't that good, but since He planned which modules I could get and stuff :)
- this is a repeat, paraphrased version: tue, wed, fri and sat OFF!
tues: Im going to catch on all the lil nitty gritty things i have been trying to do last week but was busy with SOP for projectionist.
plus i am going to 大扫除 my room.
wed: I am probably going to clean up my toilet and read my last remaining book that I have. and then read up on photography.. I am so tempted to buy a better camera. and take better shots.. deal with angles and stuff before I buy one that I can alter exposure and shutter speed. :)
back up all my computer data
thur: my one and only day that i go visiting. i haven't bought any clothes. think this year I will wear jeans and a top that is new. never wear before. but wasn't meant for CNY. but can lah. whatever. but have no proper footwear. If my angbao money can, and got nice shoes, I wanna buy a formal shoe and a pretty slipper for school.
meeting my neighbour for fun now. hahah tuan yuan drink cos we are not eating. LOLss.
love you kimberle. expect something to drop by you for Valentine's (Belated). ha.
i'm emo cos of 1001 reasons. haha, catch u online if possible.
Labels: love:), sillythings, updates, vacation, yay
03 February 2008
my emo-ness is directly proportional to my blogging frequency.
我要找回生命里的冲劲！
aja aja fighting!
mp3 player on repeat mode:
你的爱
你创造宇宙万物，统管一切所有，
但你却关心我的需要，了解我的感受。
你手铺陈天上云彩，打造永恒国度，
但这双手却甘心为我，忍受彻骨钉伤苦痛。
你公义审判万民，圣洁光照全地；
但你却 一再赐恩典，一再施怜悯，
给我机会回转向你。
你的爱如此温柔，超乎我心所想。
这样大有能力的主，竟捧我在掌心上。
你的爱如此深切，我知我无以报答，
但愿倒空我的生命，学习你谦卑的样式，
背起我自己的十字架。
Labels: S.T.R.E.S.S., sillythings
i need to diet. seriously.
im glad i didnt eat lunch.
the familiar feeling of being XXXX XXX.
oh wells. ang baos ang baos hurry up come. come many many.. bring your friends.
then quite worth it.
hAha.
SIANS.
why is life so unfulfilling nowadays.
why can't i catch my mummy when she's free these days.
why can't i settle my own problems myself.
why did i have to walk down to the canoe polo booth.
why do i have to go through the choice of giving up my dreams and aspirations.
why do i ask when i know the obvious answer.
maybe i just need a listening ear.
chinese new year is good time to catch up with homework and things to do. and many more.
chinese new year is the time to shop for things, and feel consoled that your ang bao money covers it. like today.
bought a shirt that says 'Here Now, and HAPPY!'
if my heart could say that..
and if my heart and my mind was connected.
if the heart's feelings may be overwritten by the brain's conscious pulsations.
maybe i won't feel so 茫然失措 now.
i'd probably have succeeded telling myself what is the logical and rational thing to do that is good for the Kingdom of God.
i think i lost my flare of self deception.
for good reasons.
and for difficult experiences ahead.
i just want to canoe polo.
do i?
tues thurs sundays.
how fulfilling will that be to my life?
will it be emptiness in the end?
it's never worth it to trade the eternal for the temporary.
Man was made for eternity, but how much time do we spend in investing in that instead of our earthly lives?
guilty, as charged.
but you mean i can canoe polo only when i go to heaven?
very long leh.
sometimes i wish i die now so i can do everything i want.
like be slim, eat, play.. no need study. anymore. dont need be tired.. cos heaven got no tiredness. i wont even sleep late or cant wake up cos im no longer tired. dont need to sleep.
yah, but if i die now, i miss the mark that God wants me to hit in life.
and I'm so crappy now I dont think I will make it to heaven. neither do I want to just make it and stay in some ulu corner in heaven like super far away from the City area - where God is.
so not worth it??
so what's worth it?
what is the threshold that mind can prevail over heart.
what is the threshold that mind can prevail over body?
IS THERE a threshold?
God, tell me where I am.
Sinai, wilderness, Hebron, Jordan, Jericho?
where.
do what.
what next.
so how.
can or not.
help.Labels: S.T.R.E.S.S., sillythings, updates
02 February 2008
why do the banglas wash my block when it rains?
and waste my nation's precious water.
Labels: sillythings
