EXAMS ARE HERE!
wee~~

here's my traditional pre-exam 'speech':
dear fellow countrymen, folks, and aliens from far away land..
ahead of me, are the final hours before i embark on a new journey i have never journeyed before.. a new path not trodden by my precious feet..
the first OPEN BOOK EXAM of my life.
which really means ' got book also no use, questions are gonna be tough' kindda exams.

some imaginary figures passed by, asking me ' how do u feel?'
i smiled but didn't answer them..
cos they're imaginary!!
who'd answer them right..they don't exist!!

i have a few more such period to go through.. counting my pre-reg exams, this would probably the final 8th exam i would go through before i become a full-fledged pharmacist.

and counting not CA but SAs since Primary one this is my 28th major exam in my life.
being twenty, thats a lot of exams.

being year one. this is a whole new way of examination.
because univeristy has differnt requirements of examinations than the other juvenille years in Singapore's education system.
being a Child of God, this is a brand new perception of examinations.
because results are not eternal. but the Kingdom of God is.
because its not a time to worry, nor stress out. but a time of practice on the trusting in God and doing your best.
because I know for sure, that God sees me not by my results. but how I honour Him through it. how I put Him top priority despite demands of a student. despite knowing the limitations of my own strength/ intelligence.

Labels: mugging ramblings

♥ exams are starting.
sessions with pastor aaron on monday, friday, saturday.
Kingdom people, Kingdom heart.
do not worry! and I know God's Kingdom has all the As I want.
but I will get what God knows I need.

Labels: 我的良人

i think im over with my crush.
i think the whole thing just co-incided with my LH surge and Progesterone increase.
ah ha.

crushes at this age seems rather silly and funny to me.
LOL..i think the last time i had a crush was like secondary school!
goodness.
i can picture myself with wrinkles and saggy cheeks already.

studying in school is much better at least i dont break high scores on my computer nor sleep in late. :)
but its bad cos i still day dream.
but its much much better :)

i bet two unexpected people today.
hmm... maybe God brought them around cos He knew I'd be bored being all alone the whole day.

you know, God gave me my first A in NUS yesterday. :)
I'm glad.
and am reminded.. that God gives, and takes..
and that grades really don't matter much in life..

i remember reading something before..
about in late 1930s, a young man in England would have lived life, planning to study, work, get married.. on how to get a wife, provide for her and have great beautiful dreams like that..
never to know that just a few years later Britain would be in war.
and the very routine of life would be disrupted and all that he had lived for, and planned, or dreamed about would suddenly matter not.

i wonder.. if we are living at such a time as then.
i think.. what i wanna do after i graduate, sometimes i think about a non-existent perfect boyfriend..and what if.. we are just a few years away from war? or turmult?
that what i fantasise about now won't make any more sense...

so focus my life on things that truly matter...eternally

Labels: mugging ramblings

i cant believe i slept from 3.30pm to 9.30pm.
so tired meh. tsk

anyway, i need to head the books soon.
maybe i'll sleep just a few more hours at night and wake up real early tmr.

somedays my heart and mind is filled up with thoughts of u.
somedays i think logic and stability returns to me.
somedays i my heart races when i see u, but i turn and tell myself - no it cannot be. it musnt be. i shall not be. it won't be.
somedays i feel like im lying to myself, fighting a losing battle.
somedays i feel like i just might win.
somedays i dream of u, wake up and ask God, why..
was it of God or of my flesh?

well, 日有所思也有所梦。
i dont want to make another mistake ever again.
and i dont want anything except focusing on God and studies.
i dont want distractions.

and like mum said.. there's no hurry.
so why can't i get it out of my cerebral neurones.
i wonder what chemicals stimulates such thoughts and how the memory is stored in my hippocampus.
i wish i could find a drug to curb them all. to inhibit the neurones, impair my receptors.
that'll do the trick. it must be the dopaminic receptors or those that are linked to hallucinogens!

Labels: sillythings

youth today was like truth or dare session.
LOL!
so you see, we are all NOT dainty little beautiful angels. never were..
but God still has changed us greatly huh?

crushes are distractions that ought to be put away.
my logical mind had have always triumphed over troublesome emotions.
always.

after exams. ..
holidays. retreats to bintan, tour to Europe, holiday job
getting mr. crush out of my otherwise beautiful life.

I wish I could wake up to the Holy Spirit every day like today.
I think I'd call Him Mr. Sweet from now on. ha..
I wonder if He would cringe at that name?

Labels: love:)

oh yah.
today, i have another blogable birthday post.
three people's birthday!!


MUMMYee dearest :) , ASY and LegMoon(Kahmun)

Happy Birthday! These people only need the big candles on the cakes this year.

Labels: yay

some men boys sure make all the promises in the world.
and keep none.

studying's up to 2.30am.
i guess my circadian rhythms are vaguely human, mostly nocturnal.

i don't know why i can't get a certain person out of my head.
i'm not letting anything like this distract me from revision and exams.
it's just silly.

romance is a forlorn thing in my life.
at least for now.
yet my determination is doubtful.

Labels: mugging ramblings

Whats your freaking problem..
you spend half a day doing your assignment,
being late in your own schedule of revision
and then FORGET to hand it up
its like 10% and you're getting ZERO.
smart
you think you have a lot of marks to give away issit
whole day online dont to study properly
do this do that never study
your CAP very high har??
you very smart ah?

God want to help you also cannot, if you continue like this
you are the stupidest person that ever ever walked on the face of the earth.
have you ANY brains.
like just one nanogram of it?
NO!

cos you could have gotten full marks for your assignment and you chose to gave it away.
get your life back in shape
get your head in the game
WAKE UP YOUR IDEA, idiot!

you're a waste of time
the older you get the worst you become
of what good are you?
freak!

Labels: :(, academia

i know four people whose birthday falls on this day
so maybe its bloggable
but they dont read my blog/know it exists.

anyway, Happy 20th Birthday
Lam Guang Feng & Dear Jonana & Zhenbin

and now i know again,
prayer works.
I think I'd pray more from now on,
for others

and maybe after sharing you get so tired you fall asleep teaching tuition.
i hope my tuitee's family dont see this.

Labels: love:), ministry

days have been spent trying to make studying more efficient.
i am still inefficient.
God help me!

days have been spent thinking about myself, reflecting and stuff.
and maybe, MAYBE i should leave my hair to grow for the rest of the year?
ahaha. i dont know..what do you guys think.

maybe i should get my ears pierced for the record.
but i dont think ear studs are nice.
really.
i like stars, but they dont go with ears.
rod shaped dangling earings are nice.
but i won't wanna walk around with danglies all day long.
i'd probably be a obligative ear stick consumer (pretty much like obligative anaerobes)

i need to lose weight.
i need to have new clothes.
and this post is so not me.

i've been thinking. about things.
about being twenty. and i think i am one nuisance twenty year old.
so maybe i should stop having my mother clean up after me at home.
sometimes i m just too lazy and do it on purpose.

i should stop skipping around in Odeon Katong like a kid. and walk properly.

i should go for pedicure cos i have heel cracks! :( :( age is catching up.
yesterday i asked God why in 24h did so many bacteria flood my facial pores.

i dont want to have flab at 25 years old.
i better eat less and run more.
i find cherry tomatoes a delicious dinner snack.

after 4 years, I STILL WANT TO GET MY TAN BACK!
i am quite keen on canoe polo
if i get a part time job in holidays, that allows canoe polo.
i think i'd join NUS canoe polo to try.
i hope they're nice people. or i'd be very sad.
got loads of RVians.
and im not the school bully i was in RV anymore.
but i think they still have that impression of me.

haish, bad impressions lasts you know.
should always never ever leave them around.
you never know when they will work against your favour.

april fool's was lame.
we played a prank on this friend.. and when we wanted to tell her the truth, she still didnt get it.
she even told us to be careful cos its april's fool. cmi. pengs man. bwg.

Labels: sillythings, 承诺

sometimes i wonder why i fell for you in the first place.

sometimes i think, reliable responsible men may not exist, or rather are all married.

this society makes is one such that the age of transition from boys to men increases.
That's the reason why average age of marriage is increasing for both genders.
(ok, im being totally irrational)

some may never make it to manhood,
and stay at a pseudoandro-stage.

and some girls never marry.
because men don't exist!
only boys..

[EDIT 3 seconds later]
okay, one should never hold on to the past
but some some behavioural patterns of the opposite sex just are incomprehendable.

i hope my prince riding on a white horse is out of this world.

dream on. hahah. no such person one la..
for now, single is good :)

i wonder what i will be 5 years from now.
lol

[/Edit]

Labels: sillythings