havent heard a more specific Word in a long time.
thanks Abba


我就是你的恩典。我必赐你足够的力量。

你真的靠近伤心人。
我们若亲近你，你果真亲近我们。

Labels: 我的良人

ok maybe i should i will stop doing #1 & #2
and just study, dive, canoe

my life is more than messy relationships

i have not consciously done anything to warrant this.
i have no idea and i don't think trying to find out will help anything.

withdrawal is my forte

tsk what did i do..is this even fair?
forget it.
I have a life away from this place..

What?!
am i doing in the middle of the night blogging?

today (or ytd rather) i ate hotpot with my mother.
麻辣火锅... yum yum.
in the comforts of my home :)

and i am up only completing one out of a dozen of my hmwks.
tmr morn must wake up early and give assurances.
i must say i have a great reluctance and inertia to do this.
im sorry, im not good at it.. i dont know what to do.:(

i chanced upon my own blog entry whilst doing random searches on Googles.. amidst lookign for things like box and whiskers plot and & emprical rules and stuff.
and i read it, a 2007 June entry.

And it sounded almost identical to my previous post!
the sch gonna start very stress kindda feeling.
the not very integrated into a certain group of ppl i am supposed to have close-knitted relationships with
the dont want to bother about him feeling

I can't believe it has been well over a year and its still like that.
I wonder if this is one of the push factor for me to find like-minded friends out in perhaps canoe polo...or maybe im a bottomless pit of love.

I can't believe I been stuck in ambiguity in so long!
I hate interpersonal relationships when they drag and drag long.. without issues being threshed out. Or rather, even if we don't thresh things out, i have a make or break attitude.
If we dont talk about it, we might as well dont talk about anything.
I dont like the let's-pretend-nothing-is-happening feeling. Neither am I good at it.
or maybe you have resolved it already and things are alright already, just that i dont know, cos we aren't supposed to talk about it.
we are after all seperate entities..
Totally ambiguous. ugh whatever. I really want to be a friend..can play tgt without restrictions.
maybe i should rid myself of such childish simple-minded hopes?

Labels: canoe polo, family, mugging ramblings, S.T.R.E.S.S., sian, sillythings, updates

wow, im really quite stretched.

mon wed fri(starting soon) tuition
tue thur sunday training
saturday youth group
that's all the days of my life! and everyday starts at 8am,
wednesdays start at 9am
saturdays start at 12pm (or thereabouts)
sundays are like the earliest earliest
yikes

im quite sad that the probabilty of me going for 4th service is quite low.
i kindda like the solitude, and the lack of duties for this service..
i just slip in, listen to the Word, meditate on it on my quiet lonely way home.. :)

no need to think of whether who who needs help in what what.
no need to see new friend here must think of things to speak and be nice to them
of course its okay to be nice,
but sometimes i like to retreat into my shell for some solitude and thinking instead of chiong-ing around during service.

i enjoy wearing jeans t shirt and crossing my legs to take notes happily.

i enjoy sermons in english that speak close to the things of my heart, practical things!

oh wells, having loads of back lock in school work..
need to progress need to chiong
need to slow down need to think
need to draw near need my God.

I'm on the way to doing my rolls:)
sushi roll, california roll, hand roll, paddle roll, ball roll, eskimo roll.
rolling rolling....

i finally found a sport that focuses on upper body and does not require swimming skills.

Labels: canoe polo, mugging ramblings, S.T.R.E.S.S., sillythings, yay

sometimes i wish i could google "my future" and all would pop up for me to see.
like how i wikipedia half of my assignments..

Labels: sillythings

baby steps to a dream come true
all my aspirations seems to be falling into place slowly, and hopefully - surely.

God please guard my back... my heart skips a beat everytime i try rolling

Labels: canoe polo

i am supposed to go and sleep for school
I didnt really have school since Friday until today.
which is like 4 full days of nua-ing.
other than going for one tutorial on Friday late afternoon and gg to church on Sunday, after which i sped home to continue sleeping..

today i missed the pharmacostats lecture.
maybe i missed a few mispronunciations like lomal distrition and stuff

i was stumbled when my tuitee asked me about series and progressions
its my worse A level math topic
and i cant teach her AP GP cos ITS NEITHER!
and how to come up with the formula on the spot?!
so i was in a spot for a while and brought the work home to do.

i couldn't
i couldn't
and so I prayed.

guess what I experienced and exponential decrease in time required to solve each question, with the last qn taking less than a minute. or thereabouts.
PRAISE GOD!

I'm so excited.
anw, i only got the answers. now its time to think how to make things simple and understandable for the poor girl.
adioss~

Labels: mugging ramblings, yay

为什么不可以心只向人刚硬，不向神刚硬。

为什么在我以外，我还要与别人相处？

可以不要吗...
有必要吗，is there any meaningful interaction?
none - on my terms

不知道为什么一直被一样的事困扰。
应该是自己没有尽力的挪开， 每次都任由脑袋胡思乱想。

不是的
我们不是注定在一起的。

那为什么，要被提醒，要被纠正，要被他所曾经带给我的伤害里得医治。
只是让我完全吗？
还是为了我不愿知道的未来预备。

不是的。
我的生命应该，只有我。
没有不必要耗费时间和精神，又 有 冒险性的事。
风险太大，我有权不做投资。

我有权吗？

Labels: sillythings

previously i watched TRUTH BE TOLD on arts central
and was already in love with the local talent in the movie industry.

today i watched MONEY NO ENOUGH though i really no enough money
and great that $6 tickets are available! :) UOB Cards rock.

anw, it was a super funny show.
though i missed the front.. my gluteus maximus barely contacted the seat cushion when I found myself bursting out loud laughing in the theatre.
Hope I didnt irritate the people around me. :p or scare the guy beside me. HA.
i'm like only acquainted with him.. and i saw him covering his mouth containing his laughter during the movie. that was when i realised i needed to restrain myself - for 3 seconds.
I subseuqently continued laughing my hearty laugh
LOL

touching parts with raindrops of humour here and there.
got lame stephen chow pattern of humour a bit.
and totally singaporean flavour..

nice :)
wa4 su3 ka4!

Labels: movies

My source of agony commonly stems from my addiction to the word 'Excellent' in the remarks column.

My source of thrill and satisfaction comes from the same addiction, with the added condition a sense of challenge or difficulty.

I've never seen the word "Perfect" anywhere though.
But that's probably why I strive on.

Labels: mugging ramblings

新的学期 新的挑战
一样的环境 不一样的心境
一样的异象 一样要持久祷告
more activities & a more focused life

i can't believe i have procrastinated for more than a week.
but i'm kicking these bad habits away
I am.

今天夕阳西下之时，刚好乘者地铁。
看着辽阔的天空中，黄昏美丽的彩霞...听着扣人心弦的赞美诗。
称颂着创造主的美、眼见证着创造物的色彩。
虽然只是那几个站，几分钟，也足以让人神采飞扬..独自一人地踏者愉快的脚步到家门口。

路途上闻到阵阵飘来的饭香... 啊，有人正烹调美味佳肴，等着家人归来...吃晚饭。
好幸福。这些人真是幸福。

终于到家门，里头一片漆黑。
开了门走了进去，打开灯 ，懈下包包。
到厨房，把水和面放入铁锅里... 我的晚餐。

没有美食
没有家人
没有营养
没有变化
十几年了

接下来的十年，会不会也是如此？

Labels: sillythings

I am believing God for a new season in my life.
A season of Productivity.

Labels: love:), 承诺

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY GUYS!

last year national day i was at malaysia fishing.
this year national day i never left the sea.
sentosa with feng sheng people, volleyball, fresbie, swimming.. was great :)

i got scorched!
like really. my face a bit pain.. im so glad!
I so hope that i will get a tan that STAYS.
one week even would be quite an achievement.

Thursday Night was chiong night:
work at katong area - chiong to lessons - chiong home to do some personal stuff - then chiong ot pulau NTU Hall 9 @ 12am
and can that stupid huiwen says go straight, very first bus stop on the right turn in.

i passed at least 5 bustops.
her math sucks. and my father was bewildered that i have such friends.
what a embarrassing moment.

and we started doing the lamest thing on earth - facebook mindjolt games
and then The Impossible Quiz.
it's seriously impossible lah. lol.. and the last question is a super spoiler! :S

then we played photo hunt also. noobie nanyang girl said she was good at it. but no match for RVians. we top the charts at JEC all the time. esp the RV Scouts. those were the days..when the whole squad can squeeze in front of a machine for an hour. everyone with a finger in place.

slept at 4.30am after watching robinsons.
awakened by those infrequent inconstructive dialogue between ang chieh and huiwen.
speaking super loudly cos they had earphones on.

Friday:
7 early 8 early in the morning go all the way until Newton to play badminton.
super tired. but amazed that we managed to continue playing and playing for like 1.5h straight.
slack to moderate strenuous.

then after that, since i was wearing NJC t-shirt. we went Curry wok to eat! :D yums yums.
and by default we have student set meal served.
just that when i entered the place i was surrounded by people who momentarily stared at me, all wearing the same AQUA shirt as me :S

reached home and slept for 2h.
went for juhui :)
my last one before school starts. how tired also must go and get a dose of spiritual food :)
i love it when i have no duty and just need to turn up and listen.

watched 40min of Olympics opening ceremony - Impressed at the precision of execution.
Impressed at the multitude of people. Disapproving of the money spent.

slept at 1.30am

Saturday:
7 early 8 early wake up go sentosa AGAIN.
just went to go recee and class chalet the other week.
$3 $3 $3 they sure know how to make money

played volleyball volley ball volley ball fresbie waterfresbie water polo water monkey
from 10am to 2pm - 4h :D
and during the hottest period of the day.
my feet soles got cooked in the sand.
Beggar soles (modified version of Beggar Chicken)..yum yum

Eat @ Vivo and came home and switched on the TV.
NDP Just started.
watch watch watch.
parachute singsong PARADE!! and aerodynamics display.
then i fell asleep!

i usually dont like the middle mass displays anyway.
but oh darn. i only got to see the GOH contingent march out or something.
didnt managed to watch finish how the mass display come on and the transitions.

then i woke up just at the last mass display and the fireworks came on.
nothing missed:)
and i totally had no idea i was sleeping.
think my mind was kindda still active..
but my eyelids wavered and crumbled.

fireworks nice. new NDP song gross. fast version of new NDP song even worse.
not nice lah..

now online trying to get some things done.
i fell asleep in the MRT again.
last time i did that was cos i need to work office hours every day :S
and this was worse. as in much more tired kind.

oh wells.
tmr is another 7 early 8 early day.
and we're going to eat POPEYES @ Singapore Flyer tmr :p

School's monday.
and monday is one lecture
followed by 2h of badminton with Pharmers:D

It's like school havnet started.
only after teh first week will the reality set in.
exams exams exams project project tutorial work work.

till then, i may not blog as often.
or i will random blog things for me to fully understand.
adios

Labels: ministry, updates, vacation, yay

So this was a make up for my absence last year.
I rmb i was at a kelong off Pulau Sinai, celebrating National Day and fishing :)
had our own fireworks and celebration.
which is also why i have no recollection of the NDParade. I dont even remember consciously refusing to watch it.
Because I had something more tangible than heightened patriotism to pay attention to.

I'm glad I didnt go last year. I would have been so bored and so wasted before school actally started! $40 i think :S
I'm not paying this kind of money.

and guess what, think my batch of pharmacy people are seriously un-enthu.
to think that Rina was the FIRST person in the whole year to sign up for Game Master.
and along with her I went.
just to help out I guess.
But turns out we were one of the first to express interest in doing so, and one of the very few in the end!

Thank God I had a fellow partner for my station games.
All the rest didnt have! :D
games weren't fantastic. but i learnt some taht can be used!
addition to my limited dry well of games for church and youth events..

this week i shall continue to attempt to put my room and home in order.
last week failed cos of SMC.
and this week my mother's out of town.
so its just great. :D

school's coming and i really hope someone could just swap lab prac with me :S

Labels: academia, updates

6h in my sancturary feels like a seperate day on itself.
I almost forgot why I came in.

munched dinner & stumbled upon this:

my father was telling me about the reasons for the angles taken during the movie.
was so nice:)
I wish I could learn photography like my dad did out of pure passion...
and he threw his cert after graduating.. he thought it was useless since he was just a delivery man.. 谁说粗人不可以欣赏艺术？

picture perfect.
plot perfect. though quite disturbing.
coincidentally my grandmother lives in that vicinity.

Labels: filMatters

i feel terrible.
i am not physically tired..but im tired in almost all other aspects.

i won't wanna do this again.
don't want to.

school's starting and maybe its time for distance.

I'm building myself a santurary today.
I'm retreating to create order in my chaotic room.
My neglected garden.
My safest place.

where temperature, sound, sight, feelings, time can all be controlled in my hands.
where there is just one person
who knows all what i wanna do and like to do and the way to do things.

collapsing will probably just do me some good.

today, again, i ponder.
on the friendships in my life.
seems like another superficial surreal world.

I wish I had a friend who always stood by me.. gung ho with me. chiong with me.
through the dirt and dust, through difficulties, a hug that goes right into the heart.

I don't like fat boys.
why do people like pairing me up with the fat boy.

Labels: ministry, S.T.R.E.S.S., sian